= = = "Sorry, sir! I can explain" = == WOODEN NICKEL

The General went out to find that none of his G.I.s were there. One finally ran up, panting heavily.

"Sorry, sir! I can explain, you see I had a date and it ran a little late. I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

The General was very skeptical about this explanation but at least he was here so he let the G.I. go. Moments later, eight more G.I.s came up to the general panting, he asked them why they were late.

"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but it broke down, found a farm, bought a horse but it dropped dead, ran 10 miles, and now I'm here."

The General eyed them, feeling very skeptical but since he let the first guy go, he let them go, too. A ninth G.I. jogged up to the General, panting heavily,

"Sorry, sir! I had a date and it ran a little late, I ran to the bus but missed it, I hailed a cab but..."

"Let me guess," the General interrupted, "it broke down."

"No," said the G.I., "there were so many dead horses in the road, it took forever to get around them."

================

The strangest mystery of all is a woman's bladder. X-rays prove that the female bladder is proportional to the woman's size, yet they always have to pee.

Driving in a car seems to irritate the problem. It also irritates the guy she's driving with. The big question is: How is it that women pee every 10 to 15 minutes; yet they are always retaining water?

=================

. Bill was having a drink in a bar with his friend Doug.

Doug asked, "If you were given a choice to change something 'bout you, what would you change?"

Bill said, "I wouldn't gamble."

"Did you lose a lot of money?" Doug asked sympathetically.

"No, I made a lot of money," Bill muttered. "But, I used it to get married."

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