Maybe Things Aren't So Bad-Chapter 2-By Gothic Angel

** This chapter may be confusing for I jump around a lot, but you'll understand if you read it closely. I hope no one will hate me, because some of these things I have kept secret. Thanks for reading!**

I had just gotten to school on time.I hurried off to class. I sat there, chewing on my pen. I stared at the black board as my teacher wrote something useless about dictionaries. My thoughts drifted back to my past. By 6th grade, I felt I had nothing left. I didn't think anyone cared. All my friends had said 'so long' to me. I would find myself at recess alone in a corner watching people go about their lives. Laughing, being happy. I was jealous.

I would come home to find my mom smoking about with her boyfriend who moved in. I would spend all my time in my room. Either crying, or playing with my pets. I would spend most of my time with my dog. I loved him. I knew I was obsessed, but I loved him. I loved him more than anything, but to most people he was just a dog. To me, he was the friend I never had. He was the only one there for me.

So I guess you guessed how I felt when he 'ran away' and never came back. I cried for hours on end. My mom showed no emotion towards me. After awhile, I gave up hope. I knew he was never coming back.

After my dad left, I found out he had been drinking bottles of cough syrup.

My parents to me were not any kind of parents. To me, they were just my elders that made me. They had no authority over me.

I snapped out of my thoughts as the lunch bell rang. I went back to class and sat there, eating my lunch all alone. No one liked to eat with me. I was to opinionated. I was depressed, and that was bad.

Days went by slowly in the past. I felt more alone each day. I felt as if I was going to just die there on the spot. I could feel myself falling away, running away, reaching out for someone to run after me, help me, and make me stay on solid ground.

But no one was there. No one to catch me, no one to make me stay on solid earth, to think normally. I couldn't find anyone that would take the time to help me.

I got up from my desk. It was time to go outside. Another lonely recess. I sat in the corner again. I watched them live their lives. Be alive. While I felt so dead on the inside. A once live person left, and was replaced with cold stone. Weighing me down.

I would sit in the bathtub, my eyes staring fixedly on my razor. Around my parents I acted like I was fine. Sweet and innocent. I wouldn't tell anyone how I felt. I told one 'friend' but that was a mistake. A very big mastake.

I never had a great relationship with my mom, though I always wished I did. I was never able to come to her with my problems. She would always blame my father, it would never b e her that made me feel bad.

Before my father moved out, we had a special bond. We always went to the movies, every Tuesday night, or he would take me to the park. It was little things that counted though. How he tried to be in my life then really meant a lot to me. I always felt he was there for me. Until he moved out. And a little bit before he moved out, he had broken our bond. He had slapped me around a bit.

As I dreamed throughout the rest of the day, I find msyelf walking home slowly. Thinking of my past again. Knowing as I walked home, there woud be no one, and no love waiting for me.

-Heather AKA Gothic Angel

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