UPDATE UPDATE ... I know I have to do the right thing... a "Motto," in life..... BUT

We all know in life there are choices we have to make, based on our knowledge of what is right and wrong. We can weigh the benefits, and costs all we want, but if you want to be a moral person, you have to choose to do what you think is the right thing to do, and do it ... this is how I have chosen to live my life...

Not to be too melodramatic lol but ....

In light of that decision, I have to do something that is going to be very difficult for me, and will probably be a life changing event... It means dragging out all of those old feelings from the past thirty years, and dealing with all of what that means... It means confrontation of some others as well as myself.... Overall I feel this is going to be a good thing, but knowing that, it still means I have to get through this...

I willingly participate in this, with full knowledge that it will benefit my family, and myself greatly... but

BUT.. *Insert three year old's whinning BUTTTT** .. THIS REALLY STINKS... I DON'T WANNA, I wanna avoid this, and maintain my status quo without having to deal, yet I can't so I guess overall this is a great big whine post, just getting it out in the open that:

I Just gotta do it but I don't gotta like it~~~~~~~~~!~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for your participation, via encouragement, or whining of your own, or dissing of this post... all feelings are welcome, as I too feel them all!!! LOL Thank you very much :)

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UPDATE:

Well I did my thing, and as suspected the result was life changing. I confronted through an EXPERIENTIAL seminar some issues that I have been hanging on to for many many years.

Many of you do not know that I have a 15 year old son, that resides in a specialty school for "at risk" youth. For years I knew in my heart that something was amiss with my son, but for reasons his own, my ex- couldn't see anything wrong... However, after many years of struggle and angst, we all saw that my son was indeed on the wrong path in life, and decided unanimously that he needed a drastic change or we would lose him to suicide, or ?????

My ex and his wife went through this seminar, and he encouraged his mother to show her support to our son by going as well. I had always planned on it but felt unable to go because I have gone back to college. This seminar fell in my time off from school so I decided to go. The goal being, a common ground family, where everyone is on the same page, so to speak.

I now choose to go to the next seminar for parents... (although it was one of the hardest experiences and so FAR out of my social anxiety norm!) it was very healing... and I hear rumor the next seminar is better yet... if my ex's actions and words are any indication, again it will be life changing.

For those of you with troubled homes and troubled teens, I cannot tell you enough, how playing the victim, and lack of accountability, and self limiting beliefs, are probably clouding your perception of what could be, and your childs perception of what they can become.

So that is my story, and my encouragement for those that feel there is no hope... there are alternatives, you just have to have the COURAGE to take advantage of them!!!

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