Hi Everyone! I have been having a family problem for the last several months between my husband and my brother. First of all...my husband and I have been married a little over a year now and everything is so perfect! We love each other very much, but back in March (this year), my brother was activated from a reserve to active duty and got stationed like 15 miles from where we live. At first, I thought "great!", I mean I live a good 6 hours from my family so I thought this would be fun to have my brother spend time with me and my husband. Well...another bit of info is that my brother's girlfriend (lived) about an hour from where we live, so she was happy too since she got to see him more and the drive wasn't 6 hours anymore. Well, for a long time now I have noticed a lot of changes in my brother and I don't know if it was the Marine Corps who changed this or maybe because he is a 24 year old living at home with mom?? I am the oldest in the family of 4 (today is my birthday too!) and the youngest is 20. Both my brothers and sister (25) live with my mom who is a single parent. Well...I don't want to make this a super long story, but really quick...my brother's girlfriend has been having family problems of her family(they doesn't like my brother) and so my husband and I decided to have her stay with us (until the end of September). Well...she has been with us for a little over a month now and I have been feeling some strain in my marriage because of it! Basically, my brother comes over every weekend just to see her, he ignores my husband or makes remarks that leaves you thinking either he's being sarcastic or rude (either way, my husband feels he is trying to intimidate him). He calls his girlfriend every night and comes over without asking us if is alright. He cuts his hair in our bathroom, leaves a mess, and hogs our television all day watching his sports stations. Now, I know you might think this is not a problem and I don't think it is a big deal either, but my husband feels we are being taken advantage of. I mean, before my brother was even called up for active duty, he wasn't working at all. He was broke with tons of money owed (even his girlfriends parents which he hadn't paid a cent in over a year!). We took his girlfriend in to try to help them save money and we haven't charged her a cent for anything. Like I said...my husband and I are still newlyweds and we can't even be alone in the house anymore and I know my husband likes to look forward to his weekends relaxing and watching movies and just hanging out in his underwear like anyone else. Well...one thing about my brother is that he takes things too far sometimes when you are trying to explain something to him and he totally takes it out of content. For example, I told him he can't come over every weekend...it was nothing personal, but me and my husband want to have weekends alone sometimes and if he plans to come over that he needs to ask us if it's alright first. Well...he went back home to see our mom and he told everyone there that I didn't want him coming over anymore! I mean, I was super pissed at him for that and after he even told me it was cool. Okay...so this weekend, my brother and girlfriend are going back home to see my mom and rest of the family (my husband and I have the same schedule so we will visit next weekend). Well...just yesterday when my and my husband got home from work, he went to the computer to check his email and found that my brother was surfing porn and now it's all over our computer!! When my husband told me, I was so furious but at the same time...I don't want problems either! I know my husband has every right to tell my brother what's on his mind (I've always held my husband back from saying anything because of my brother's attitude), but I am afraid my brother will stop talking to me or that there's weirdness in the house after he tells him. What should I do? I am behind my husband 100%, but I don't like fighting. Please advise! Thank you for just letting get this off my chest. -Ana :)
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