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-º The Betrayal º-

  Author:  10773  Category:(Poetry) Created:(9/24/2003 4:37:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (492 times)

Uhhh well, I'm a terrible writer, and I don't know if this actually makes any sense LOL, but here we go:

-º The Betrayal º-

Shame on us, your loyal followers,
Who pursued the prints of a cowardly king
How dare we abandon wives, sons, and daughters
To obey that dastardly fiend

We went blindly, yet we went boldly,
And both sides drew weapons of great girth
Soon, many became a few only
While fallen men lay on rotting earth

We all rushed on further
Headstrong into the war
That battle we had suffered
Shed blood and wretched gore

They ask us why we chose to stay
We reply, 'We're sworn to follow our crown,'
But our loyalty was dashed away that day,
And thrown -by our king- to the bloody ground


Tada :) Thank you muchos for reading!

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Replies:      
Date: 9/24/2003 7:46:00 PM  From Authorid: 34487    Wow, this is very good... makes you feel like you're in the midst of battle.  
Date: 10/15/2003 9:45:00 AM  From Authorid: 30575    hey, I think this is good :)  
Date: 3/31/2004 10:21:00 PM  From Authorid: 21435    Nope...You're not a terrible writer, Sailor Sun :) I think your poem was quite good, in fact. Thanks and Write on...:)  
Date: 8/5/2005 1:49:00 PM  From Authorid: 54444    sounds like you have been influenced by ee cummings...well I am also a consciencious objector to war in general, yet the quandry is what is the alternative when people want to kill me and destroy all I hold dear? That is a question...I have no answer yet.  
Date: 10/19/2005 7:27:00 PM  From Authorid: 28946    I like the story/poem and saw the people marching into battle. Good rhythm and writting, Jill.  
Date: 10/19/2005 8:00:00 PM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 10773    Thank you all for the replies!! :)  

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