= = = = "We were so poor = = = = WOODEN NICKEL   Author:  27583  Category:(Humor) Created:(10/25/2003 2:44:00 PM) This post has been Viewed (526 times) Sidney says to his friend, "We were so poor when I was young that I had to sleep in the same bed as my three brothers. We slept four-to-a-bed for many years. I didn't know what it was like to sleep alone until I grew up and married Sadie." ====================== Just in time for the new fall TV Season CBS is releasing a new reality series called JEWISH SURVIVOR. 16 Jews are put in a two-bedroom co-op on the Upper West Side of New York. Each week they vote out one member until there is a final survivor who gets $1 million (but placed into a trust that does not vest until age 59). The Rules: 1. No maid service. 2. No use of ATMs or credit cards. 3. No food from take-out or delivery which includes Chinese food. 4. All purchases must be at retail prices. 5. No calls to mother for women, office for men. 6. Outside trips must be by foot, bus or subway. NO limos or cabs. 7. All workouts/exercise must be done in regular sweats -- no designer labels. 8. Zabars is off limits. 9. No Jewish geography. 10. No NY Times. Only, NY Post or NY Daily News. 11. No Pottery Barn, J. Crew, Lands End or William Sonoma catalogs. 12. Only one phoneline for all 16 Tribe members. No call can last more than 3 minutes. No cell phones. 13. Maintenance problems must be resolved by the Tribe, without help from any gentile or super. 14. All therapy sessions suspended. 15. No consulting with attorneys. 16. No whitefish, lox, or bagels. 17. No antacids of any kind. There have been no applicants yet. ==================== A visitor to Israel attended a recital and concert at the Moscovitz Auditorium. He was quite impressed with the architecture and the acoustics. He inquired of the tour guide, "Is this magnificent auditorium named after Chaim Moscovitz, the famous Talmudic scholar?" "No," replied the guide. "It is named after Sam Moscovitz, the writer." "Never heard of him. What did he write?" "A check", replied the guide. ============== The young lady walked over to the hospital room where she knew her friend was. "May I see Irving, please?" she asked the woman blocking the door. "We don't allow anyone but relatives to see the patients," replied the woman. "Are you a member of the family?" "Why-er-why, yes. I'm his sister," said the lady. "Oh, I'm so glad to meet you," said the woman. "I'm his mother!" You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click here Scroll all the way down to read replies. Show all stories by   Author:  27583 ( Click here ) Spring is coming