1. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
2. When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping", now I just "chunky dunk".
3. The early bird still has to eat worms.
4. The worst thing about accidents in the kitchen is eating them.
5. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
6. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over?
7. Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
8. My husband says I never listen to him. At least I think that's what he said.
9. Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
10. Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?
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