Date: 11/22/2003 5:08:00 AM
From Authorid: 53054
hmmm....well i think that its really good of you to be spending time with your granny...i bet she really loves it....i wish thtat i could spend more time with my grannie....ummmmm as for your theriors or however you spell it....ummmm maybe you are bringing too much into them....ok maybe for you they are thoughts that you believe, but honestly do you really believe them to be true....you really dont know what other people are saying....or thinking, expecially those two guys walking passed....how were you looking at them? It might not be only what you wear! As for friends.....be yourself, and act friendly! i go to the mall all the time by myself....its a relaly good confidence booster..ok you may think that is wierd but try it, go to the mall and sit down at a food place by yourself....it boosts your self esteem and you never know someone may come up and say hello! *hugz* good luck...your grannie is very lucky!  |
Date: 11/22/2003 5:28:00 AM
From Authorid: 62023
You seem to be in a transitional stage in your life - between school and job and being an independent woman. When you say you're out of school, do you mean high school or college? (I wasn't sure) This is a difficult period, but full of opportunities! First, work on finding out what you want. Do you want a career? If so, what do you envision yourself doing? Teaching? Musician? Accounting? Park Ranger? What's your dream? Your self-esteem seems to be a little low right now, and I think if you know what you want to do with your life, you can get on a positive path. A find positive people to be around. It rubs off! Also, projection is a key on how people perceive you. Do you smile when someone passes by? Radiate a happy face and you'll get it back ten-fold! Being out alone, or even the quality of your clothes, has little to do with how people perceive you. It's how you project yourself. I know, because when I was dating, this was the one thing guys would say to me (whether I was alone or with friends) "SMILE, GIRL!" I hope some of this helps you. I've been in your shoes before and life does get better with a little work and a positive attitude. God Bless and good luck to you. Let us know how you're doing! Peace!  |
Date: 11/22/2003 6:54:00 AM
From Authorid: 62408
I used to think that way too... think that no guy ever wanted to be with me, etc. Was very upset and paranoid about it. But I had very different reasons...but I finally did find a wonderful guy...sometimes it takes a while. And though I remember complaining then, now, I don't mind as much... it somehow seems worth it. Because the guy I've got now is so good to me, and makes me feel so special. So I've been dubbed what is known as the 'late bloomer'. (I'm 25 with my first b/f, who it seems may very well be 'the one', the way we've connected and share so many of the same beliefs). It's not such a bad thing after all. And no offense to any guys reading this, but the old phrase I used to say to console myself, jokingly was "My Mr. Right is out there somewhere, looking for me... but he is a man, after all, so he won't stop and ask for directions, and that's why he hasn't found me yet". Take care, and try not to worry so. If you ever need to talk, feel free to message me... on anything. --Christine  |
Date: 11/22/2003 9:50:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15675
Thanks guys. Leppy I just looked up I mean I wasnt really starrin at em lol I wasnt glaring at them but i wasnt smiling, ya know just passing by. Cassieopia I dropped out of high school and yes I know what I want in life. *prepares for a barrage of lectures LOL* I want to sing or be in that industry and Ive been working very hard at it since I was 13 (10 if you dont count that working hard part LOL!) Thats why we go to Waterloo, to do my music lessons. Im actually even kinda planning to try and do some shows next summer in my hometown. Maybe I am just paranoid I guess as mentioned it stems from how people has treated me. I didnt mention my guy history because it wasn't to relevant but I mean 1 guy asks me out as a joke (prompted by my ex friend), and 1 guy asked me out because my sister rejected him 2 days earlier, then when I find out and get mad at him he asks her out a few more times. I do try to be postive though. Christine I know what you mean on the "Mr Right" theory. I've been clinging to that since I was 13...only lol mines a bit odder (refer way back in my post :p.) And even though I believe that you know its hard sometimes. Oh man I dunno...last night I half resolved to try to be happy and forget all this *go with the mr.right theory*. But today I got to go to my music lesson (I have 2 a week now :D thats one good hting) soon so I guess I dont know I'll maybe try the smiling thing we'll see. Thanks everyone :D  |
Date: 11/22/2003 2:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 62146
You know what we are so much alike crazzy queen kasy I come from a sort of middel classed family and because i am the only child people consider me a rich kid because of all the nice stuff i get and alot of people use to consider me a spoilt snob It hurt to because i am not a snob ok maybe spoilt sometimes but not as bad as some people i know and people use to exspect me to spoil them and someone called me selfish because i would nopt give them them money and gifts but the thing is my family could not have been able to afford to spoilt this brat but she was just to egnorent to understand. And as for walking around the mall by yourself I do it all the time people I know sometimes come up to me and say "so who are you with" and when I say I am by myself they just look away or give me a dirty look. But the thing is I like going out to the mall by myself Because I get to go where I want. I don't have many friends either because people consider me a misfit and also I can not really talk to people when I frist meet them I really suck at socilizing but that is just me so people have to put up with it. but what I do is I focus on the friends I have got.  |
Date: 11/23/2003 3:13:00 AM
From Authorid: 18406
Ok I come from an upper middle class family- it consists of me and my mother. People think I'm spoiled (Ok maybe I am- a little- but not rotten!!) too but I have loads of friends....I have people hitting me up for money all the time. I tell them to get out of town. And it sounds like you spend a lot less money on clothes than I tend to- it drives my mom nuts. But anyway I really don't think money or the appearance of money is an issue at ALL. I mean then I wouldn't have very many friends either. I mean some people may make it an issue- but then do you really want them as friends? I don't. But something I do with my friends is play first impressions. I ask them to tell me their first impression of me and then I tell them, what I noticed with some of my friends is that they thought I was giving them dirty looks like i was a snot or something- and I'm not like that at all!!! But they know that now because they gave me a chance and found out that I had an eyesight problem that I kept denying I didn't have so I was squinting all the time but to them it looked like I was grimacing at them. I think if you just be yourself, you'll attract lots of people. And a big smile flashed at them doesn't hurt. I also have a tendancy to say hi to random people. And if I think something about them is interesting, I talk to them. If they don't talk back, its not a big deal to me- they're just grumpy. As for you not getting out of your house- It's a must!!! Have you thought about college? I highly recommend going to a community college- you'll find really good friends there and you can go like half time. Don't worry about people looking at you like that in stores- they have issues, but i highly doubt it has anything to do with you dressing too nicely.  |
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Date: 11/23/2003 11:00:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 15675
Thanks Cosmic Freak and Beauitufl lillies. No I havent thought of going to college mostly because Ive always had distaste for the thought. Also I got to get my GED (In Iowa I cant do it tell Im 17) before I could even think of that. Lol one final point is I dispise both community colleges, when I was in school I had to do some things through them and I just hated the way they did it. |
Date: 11/23/2003 7:08:00 PM
From Authorid: 51827
look, you are so over analyzing this, really, why worry about it. I think your theories are very accurate. If you want to look approachable it is nice to have friends with you and if you try smiling at ppl for the heck of it, i.e. cute guys. It lets them know, hey I dont mind if you talk to me. Heck why dont you even talk to ppl yourself first. I dont really think your clothes will really matter, unless you seem snooty and everything. The trick is just seem really nice and friendly. Just remember dont stress over this, just be glad that you have your family and I hate to say this, but friends so come and go, I mean they are not everything. So dont try to go out and rely on having friends or worry about it too much. Go give your family a hug and try to think how lucky you are to have them and what it would be like and how lonley you'd be if you didnt. Love ya  |
Date: 12/7/2003 2:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 31048
Since I don't know you, I couldn't tell you if either of your theories are true. But I will tell you, it's probably going to be pretty hard to find girlfriends at the mall or Wal-mart or wherever. First of all because, if a girl approaches you at the mall and talks to you and then asks for your number you'd probably think she was a lesbian or something. lol! When I go to the mall, either alone or with friends, I don't talk to other girls. And as for the guys...they probably prefer to approach girls who are in groups because it takes the pressure off them, if that makes sense. That way they have less chance of trying to talk to a girl and facing long pauses of awkward silence. Anyways, keep trying to find a job...it's a really good way to meet people. Good luck :)  |
