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How Do I Tell This Person Gently... =-bootz-=

  Author:  51463  Category:(Discussion) Created:(11/22/2003 8:22:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (565 times)

That she's a little self centered. My friend K and I used to talk for long times about nothing but recently she doesn't ever let me get in a word. She asked me what I was doing this weekend and right as I started saying it she interupted me to tell me what she was doing that weekend, she never asks how I am and she constantly tells me every event that's going on in her life.

Last week I left AOL Instant Messenger on and I have timers next to the IMs, she had an hour long conversation with herself without realizing I wasn't there. She talked non-stop and after about 55 minutes of her talking about everything that was going on in her life she asked how I was then cancelled it out by saying she was leaving to go somewhere else and that she'd tell me all about it later.

I was supposed to tell her today that one of her friends was looking for her last night but as soon as I signed on she IM'd me and talked about herself then got mad when I told her what I wanted to tell her and signed back off!

Everything in her life is a crisis! She broke up with her boyfriend after 3 days of going out and told me about it 4 days later saying she would never get over him. I told her that it was only 3 days and she practically ripped my head off. Then yesterday she told me all about this other guy she liked and I asked what happened to her old boyfriend and she just yelled at me.

Should I just stop talking to her altogether or what? It's been like this for four months, at one point she asked about one of my relatives who had died a significant amount of time ago then when I told her just said "Oh sorry" and went on with conversation!

It's really becoming annoying! What should I say?

Thanks - bootz

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Replies:      
Date: 11/22/2003 8:34:00 AM  From Authorid: 27623    Ohhhh Bootz. That's a yucky situation! I have a friend who does the same exact thing, and you're right, it is annoying. Let me ask you this, how is your relationship with her going both ways???? It's not! It takes to to have a relationship, and she is only concerned about herself, and not you. All she wants to do is talk about herself, and her problems to get them off her chest because she knows you will listen. Once she tells you what's on her mind, she's done with you. That's what I'm gathering. She doesn't take any advice, she's not taking constructive criticism, from a friend none the less! It's a hard thing to do to cutoff a friendship like that but you have to do what makes you happy, and do it anyway you chooose to! I usually end up just not returning phonecalls, or asking them to hangout. If they ask me to hangout, I pass up the offer. I wish you luck! Keep us, or me, posted! Love,  
Date: 11/22/2003 8:36:00 AM  From Authorid: 62401    I HAD a friend like that in school. I told her that i was tired of hearing about her problems and that i needed to talk to her about mine. We still casually talk when we see each other but we aren't near as close as we used to be. So, my advice... try to stay calm when you talk to her. I blew up at my friend and she blew up at me, so that ruined us. Maybe write her a letter and let her know you feel taken advantage of! Lindsay  
Date: 11/22/2003 9:18:00 AM  From Authorid: 27583    just e mail this friend and tell of whats in your heart. friendship sometimes becomes one sided but eventualy comes full turn. wooden nickel  
Date: 11/22/2003 10:54:00 AM  From Authorid: 55789    Just tell her how you feel! Tell her that if she gets mad about how you feel towards her then she's not obviously a friend who can listen very well.
_-XinG-_
  

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