= = = = WHAT KIND OF CAR DO YOU LIKE ? = = = = WOODEN NICKEL   Author:  27583  Category:(Humor) Created:(11/22/2003 6:34:00 PM) This post has been Viewed (624 times) ACURA -Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile AMC -All Makes Combined AMC -A Major Cost AMC -A Mutated Car AMC -A Morons Car AMC -Another Major Catastrophe AUDI -Accelerates Under Demonic Influence AUDI -All Unsafe Designs Implemented AUDI -Another Ugly Duetsche Invention AUDI -Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence AUDI -Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc. BMW -Babbling Mechanical Wench BMW -Beastly Monstrous Wonder BMW -Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels BMW -Beautiful Mechanical Wonder BMW -Barely Moving Wreck BMW -Big Money Waste BMW -Big Money. Why? BMW -Big Money Works BMW -Born Moderately Wealthy BMW -Breaks Most Wrenches BMW -Bring Many Wrenches BMW -Brings Me Women BMW -Brings More Women BMW -Broken Money Waster BMW -Broke My Wallet BMW -Broken Monstrous Wonder BMW -Brutal Money Waster BMW -Bumbling Mechanical Wretch BMW -Blasphemous Motorized Wreck BUICK -Big Ugly Import Car Killer BUICK -Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King BUICK -Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer BUICK -Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer BUICK -Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer CADILLAC -Crazy And Demented Idiots Like Large American Cars CADILLAC -Cars Are Driven In Long Lines And Crashed CHEVROLET -Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle, Or Loud Engine Ticks CHEVROLET -Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time CHEVROLET -Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips CHEVROLET -Car Has Extensive Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips CHEVROLET -Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time CHEVROLET -Cheap Heaps Erratically Vibrate Running On Level Even Terrain CHEVROLET -Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques CHEVROLET -Cracked Heads, Every Valve's Rotten, Oil Leaks Every Time CHEVY -Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet CHEVY -Can Hear Every Valve Yell DODGE -DaRn Old Dirty Gas Eater DODGE -Dead Old Dog Going East DODGE -Dead On Day Guarantee Expires DODGE -Dead Old Dog Going East DODGE -Dead On Day Guarantee Expires DODGE -Dead On Delivery, Go Easy DODGE -Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired DODGE -Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter DODGE -Drips Oil Drops Grease Everywhere DODGE -Driven Only During Grey Evenings EDSEL -Every Day Something Else Leaks FIAT -Failed In A Tunnel FIAT -Fails In Attempted Turns FIAT -Failure In Automotive Technology FIAT -Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation FIAT -Fits In A Thimble FIAT -Fix It Again Tony FIAT -Flats In All Tires FIAT -Found In A Trench FORD -Fabricated Of Refried Dung FORD -Fails On Rainy Days FORD -Famous Odor Resistant Dog FORD -Falling Off: Rusty Door FORD -Fast Only Rolling Downhill FORD -Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream FORD -Fastest On Road, Dip! FORD -Fatally Obese Redneck Driver FORD -Fault Of R&D FORD -Final Organ of Reproductive Discipline FORD -Finally Obsolete Racing Device FORD -Fireball On Rear Denting FORD -First On Recall Day FORD -First On Race Day FORD -First On Road to Dump FORD -First On Rust and Deterioration FORD -First Order of Reproductive Discipline FORD -Fix Or Recycle Dilemma FORD -Fixed Or Repaired Daily FORD -Flip Over Read Directions FORD -Flipping Over Results in Death FORD -Flipped Over Roadside Disaster FORD -Flintstone Or Rubble Driven FORD -Follow Our Ruddy Dogsled FORD -Fond Of Resonating Decibels FORD -Foot On Road Decelerates FORD -Fords Only Run Downhill FORD -Forced On Reluctant Drivers FORD -Formed Of Rejected DNA FORD -Forwarded Once; Return Denied FORD -Forward Only; Reverse Defective FORD -Forgot Our Recommended Defaults FORD -Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin FORD -For Old, Rotten Deadbeat FORD -Fork Over Repair Dough FORD -Found On Red Dumpster FORD -Found On Redneck's Driveway FORD -Found On Roadside Dead FORD -Found On Rubbish Dump GEO -Good Engineering Overlooked G. M. -General Maintenance G. M. -Goshdarn Mess G. M. -Generally Misunderstood G. M. -Garbage Motors G. M. -Generally Miserable G. M. -Grossley Misconceived G. M. -Gluteus Maximus GMC -Garage Man's Companion GMC -Generally Mediocre Cars GMC -Generic Made Chevy GMC -German Milk Cow GMC -Get More Chicks GMC -Gets Mechanics Crazy GMC -Gods Mechanical Curse GMC -Gotta Mechanic coming GMC -Got More Crap GMC -Great Mountain Climber GMC -Great Motor Car HONDA -Had One, Never Do-that Again HONDA -Hang On, Not Done Accelerating HONDA -Has Often Nice Dealer Accessories HONDA -History Of No Dramatic Acceleration HYUNDAI -How Your Usual Nerd Drives An Import HYUNDAI -Hope You Understand Nothing's Drivable And Inexpensive IROC -I Race Other Cars IROC -I Run Over Critters IROC -I Run Off Cliffs IROC -I Reek Of Cologne IROC -Italian Resting On Console IROC -Ignorant Retard Out Cruising JEEP -Just Eats Every Part JEEP -Junk Engineering Executed Poorly KIA -Killed In Action KIA -Kills In Accidents LTD -Long Term Debt LTD -Lousy Transportation, DaRNit! LTD -Little Tin Dream LTD -Long, Thin Dumpster LTD -Long Time Driving MAZDA -Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along MAZDA -My! Another Zany Detroit Assassin! MERCEDESLTD -Last Try from Detroit -Most Eccentric Rich Capitalists Enjoy Driving Expensive Sedans M.G. -Money Guzzler MITSUBISHI -Mostly In The Shop Undergoing Big Investments, Sometimes Halfway Incomplete MOPAR -Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly MOPAR -Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously MOPAR -Most Often Passed At Races MOPAR -Mostly Old Parts And Rust MOPAR -Mostly Old Paint And Rust MOPAR -Move Over People Are Racing MOPAR -Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly MOPAR -My Old Pig Ain't Running MUSTANG -Men Usually Stand Together And Never Go NISSAN -Nine Idiots Standing, Saying Absolutely Nothing NISSAN -Needless Innovations, Silly, Stupid, Automotive Nonsense OLDS MOBILE -Oh, Look, Darnit! Some Massive Oil Burning Idiot's Leaking Everything. OLDSMOBILE -Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Every day. OLDSMOBILE -Old Loose Dented Sheet Metal Out-dated By Infamies Like Edsel. OLDSMOBILE -Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment OLDSMOBILE -Old Ladies Drive Slow - Mostly Over Bridges Into Lake Erie PINTO -Put In Nickel To Operate PINTO -Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook PLYMOUTH -Please Let Your Mother Out (from) Under The Hood! PLYMOUTH -Police Laugh, Young Men Ogle, All Underestimating This Heap MOPAR -My Only Problems Are Repairs MUSTANG -Men Usually Stand Together And Never Go PONTIAC -Poor Old Nitwit Thinks It's A Cadillac PONTIAC -Puts Out Noxious Toxins In All Cities PORSCHE -Piece Of Rubbish, Saps Continually High Expense PORSCHE -Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything PROBE -Plainly Runs Only By Exception SAAB -Send Another Automobile Back SAAB -Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown. SAAB -Swedish Automobiles Are Beastly SAAB -Sad Attempt At Beauty SAAB -Sorry Auto, Always Broken SAAB -Swedish Automobile-Always Broken SATURN -Sounds Absolutely Terrible, Unbelievable Rattling Noises SUBARU -Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually SUBARU -Sorry Unreal Bonsai Attempt at a Russian U-boat TOYOTA -Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto TRIUMPH -This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help! TRIUMPH -Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt! TRIUMPH -The Risk In Useless Machinery Pays Heavily VOLVO -Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object VW -Virtually Worthless VOLKSWAGEN -Very Obsolete, Losers Knowingly Suffer With All German Engineered Nonsense ================= Q: What did one mountain say to the other mountain after the earthquake? A: "It wasn't my fault!" ===================== Q: Why was the dog sent out of the flea circus? A: Because he stole the show! ====================== A group of office co-workers decided one day to share a ride to work. What they did not realize was that they also shared the same fear --claustrophobia. As they were driving through a mountain tunnel, all began to scream wildly! The car went out of control, but finally, they were able to slow down and pull over to the side of the road. A psychologist who was driving behind the car saw everything and stopped to see if he could help. He immediately ascertained what the problem was -- they were suffering from carpool tunnel syndrome. ======================= A German psychologist says that women talk more than men because they have a bigger vocabulary. But, it evens out because men only listen half the time. ============== A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a cloud of feathers. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell. A farmer appeared. The man somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him." "Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "the hens are round the back." ======================= She said, "When you reach your 50's you must learn to grow old with grace." He said, 'That's great! Bring her over and let's see what she looks like." You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click here Scroll all the way down to read replies. Show all stories by   Author:  27583 ( Click here ) Spring is coming