As many of you must know by now, as I've said in several of my posts, or replies in posts, I suffer from a mental illness. My so-called 'true diagnosis' as it's written in the doctor's report is Clinical Depression with Panic/Anxiety Disorder, Slight Mood Disorder, Slight Personality Disorder (which is basically similiar to mood disorder, it does not mean I have multiple personalites, in truth, I think they could have easily substituted it with suffers occasionally with PMS-- LOL)
But, seriously. Yes, I do take medication for my problems. Yes, I have been what is known as a "cutter" in the past. I have been hospitalized on inpatient psychiatric units (voluntarily, I always signed myself in) in the past. I do take medication daily, see a therapist once every two weeks, and a psychiatrist once every two months to make sure my medications are working properly.
I've gone through a lot more. Verbal and physical abuse in high school, A minor assault at a bus stop while in therapy, borderline eating disorders. Other health issues, and of course, poor self esteem.
And I've seen others here at this website, read their stories and have wanted to cry, have cried, because I have seen my own story mirrored in their own. I've wanted to just get in my car, drive out and find them, and just hug them, hold them, and take away all their pain. But I can't do that. What I can do is listen. I've tried writing to some of you privately, giving you my e-mail address, letting you know that it is OK for you to come to me, talk to me. Because sometimes I know that it is easier to talk to someone who has an inkling of where you might have been.
So I say, if anyone ever wants to talk, please, feel free to come to me, or if anyone else wants to do the same, and be a 'support system', as we all already are to each other, then let's do it. I give my solemn promise that anything written to me in confidence stays that way (unless of course, like anything else, I feel you are a danger to yourself, will I say anything, but mostly, I think most of us are just looking for a place to vent).
I know the possibility of thinking you may have problems, or the idea of having to see a therapist can be scary. Let me help you. I'm not afraid to share more of my story. Anything you want to know, write me, and I'll tell you. I made a solemn promise and I kept making it, the more I improved, that no one would have to go through what I did. And if I can make that promise come true, than I know it will make everything I've endured worthwhile.
So, if you feel like you're in a 'dark place', and you're scared and alone, reach out and take my hand. Talk to me. We can get through this together. I have no intention of receiving glory or praise out of this, only wanting to help. Or, if you're still hesitant about reaching out to another person, go to these places, and learn more:
http://www.nami.org http://www.nimh.org
I know these sites work for those in the states, I think they also will have links for those who aren't.
If you choose to 'speak' to me privately:
cmhughes@zoominternet.net My inbox is always open, and I check it several times daily. *******************************************************************************
I want to thank all of you who read this, and any who may help me with this...I may currently be disabled by my own depression and illnesses and unable to work outside the home, but I CAN help my fellow friends and USM'ers by being a friend, listening ear, and comfort if they need me.
You all are becoming like family to me, and have made me feel like family to you. Please accept this gift I want to give, for it is truly from the heart... and I expect nothing in return, nothing but your good health and well-being. With many hugs, warm wishes, prayers, good vibes, or whatever it is you receive with open arms...
Chris
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*UPDATE*
As Ritzbe so kindly brought to my attention, which I must have failed to mention here when I dealt with the issue regarding cutting, that is indeed a serious problem. If you have dealt with that, know someone who has, or feel you need help with that problem, seek the help of someone as soon as possible, preferrably a medical professional. I apologize for not bringing that to your attention before. It can lead to problems much worse, as it can become addictive. I want no harm to come to any of you, neither does anyone here at USM. Your safety is first. So please, if cutting is an issue, or if you are feeling depressed, suicidal, or feel that your safety or someone elses is at risk, or know of someone who is in that place and are worried for their safety, contact the proper officials to keep everyone safe. Thank you again Ritzbe for reminding me of this. In my haste to help others by counsel, I forgot the most important thing, which could have proved disastrous.
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