There is a time in your life
When you sit and dwell within the reverie of your days
There it sits before you
The little gem of your life with
All its flaws bared before your eyes
You know something has changed
Yet it takes so much effort to see what this is
That has stayed your mind
It is the loss of innocence
The acceptance of pain
That little crevice of sadness that has
Followed the natural grain of your soul
Into places that you never knew existed until
They spoke to you as the salt touched blemish
There before you is all of the unspoken
All of the rashes of your spiritual entity
The ugly that inescapelably is your you
At last you know fully well that some things
That some hurts
That some aches go too deep
And that there is no regaining of what once was
That the innocence enjoyed as the child is forever lost
You simply realize that you know too much
For it lay within your bones
Undeniable
That is the time you ask yourself...
What to do?
For the endings have come and the battles have been fought
At last you realize that there is no victor in battle
There is only endings
For the victors never win
They just postpone and endure what they brought
To their rival
There is no covering it up with sunshine and smiles
For in the quiet of your mind and the stillness of your heart
You can never out run or band-aide the reality or truth
There is merely one place to go
And that is onward to the end
You see, endings always come
They comas the thief in the night or as the screaming banshee to strike terrors
Ye they come
And you are forever changed
In loss of loss or the loss
Of victory
The difference is mute
Change ... the great consumer of souls
Will rape your spirit In the end
She always has her way
The draught of time is the only respite
Yet that too is but postponement
For she comes to you and you always knew
Yes
You always knew
The crushing of rainbows is often the taste
Of the gentlest kiss and
The invocation of change
The spell irreconcilable
In the seeking of your truest heart
You find angels and demons
There you endure the rake of talon and the caress of feather wing
Only to find the pain equivalent
The touch equal
And your perspective skewed
The universe itself finds a wobble within its spin
And begins to tear itself apart
Crashing to pieces
Leaving you to choke on the dust of galaxies ground to nothingness
Your world is gone and your carefully constructed wish threads
Lay tattered and there is nothing
But endings
Enough to choke on
The realms of dragons and gods
All tilled into nevermore
And you wonder why
Yet fear to look where you know the answer is
For it lay within
The lens of self has been used
The perspective gained has altered and changed everything
For you dared to ask for the gift of wisdom
And now pay the 0price and the heavies of burdens
The tree of wisdom bears fruit of bitterest twist
It's task remaining unforgotten through eternities of breath
And you know in a second that has lasted forever through
The trap of time
You know who you are
Even though your words give no descriptions,
You still know
You are unutterable and terrifying
You are hideous
You are so beautiful
And the words fall away as dust
For you simply are
And the definitions useless
You crave the end yet you know it as delay
And what greater pain is there but to endure more of what is
So you dare not
Only will you walked on and into the plod of your consumed world
Sore of foot and weary of soul
And walk the paths inevitable
No longer the fool
Yet seen as the fool upon the hill
So silenced
Forever wishing your taste
Never was to know the apples bitter
Yet knowing you could not do other than what you did
For that is what y you asked for
What you grasped
What you endure
And for what you yearn for and
Will never let go of
Even when offered the draught of forgetfulness
For you cannot deny the sanctity of the self
And all you words fall away
Lost upon he winds of time
Lost upon the minds of these
Who do not want to know.
Jan 2004
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