Rule 1: Be a creature unlike any other(human is attractive).Rule 2: Don't talk to a man first(and don't as him to dance). ('Cause you know, men are the communicators of the species).
Rule 3: Don't stare at mean, or talk too much.(don't stare at women and children, either, or talk too much).
Rule 4: Don't meet him half way or go Dutch on a adate(unless he lives in San Diego, 'cause then you could eat at the Spacee Age Diner in Gila Bend).
Rule 5: Don't call him and rarely return calls(come on now, not returning calls just rude).
Rule 6: Always end phone call first(This one is Ok,'cause who likes talking on the phone?).
Rule 7: DOn't accept a Saturdat night date after Wensday(Unless you don't have anything to do).
Rule 8: Fill up your time before the date(If you didn't have a life before you got a date, it's okay to have one after the date).
Rule 9: How to act on dates 1,2,&3(try not to sleep with him, unless he's reall hot, and then try to save it until the end of the first date).
Rule 10: How to act on date 4 through commitment time(You are allowed to show more of yourself on the fourth date, so clothing is optional).
Rule 11: Always end the first date(Because you are a really good part of that Satre book, you want to get in a few chapters before bed tonight).
Rule 12: Stop dating him if he doesn't buy you a romantic gift for your birthday or Valentines Day(and cut off contact with anyone else who doesn't buy you a gift and anyone who gives you a faucet).
Rule 13: Don't see him ore than once or twice a week(unless he's a hottie and you sleep with him on your first date(see Rule 9).
Rule 14: No more than casual kissing on the first date(casual is a relative term).
Rule 15: Don't rush into sex and other rules for intimacy(unless he is a hottie, but sure to use protection).
Rule 16: Don't tell him what to do(And don't let him tell you what to do).
Rule 17: Let him take the lead(Unless it's the Electris Slide).
Rule 18: Don't expect a man to change or try to change him(he may lose a bit of luster in the golden years).
Rule 19: Don't open up too fast(He is too shallow to understand you anyway).
Rule 20: Be honest but mysterious(tell him you left your push-up bra at the cleaners, but you can't remember which One Hour Martinizer).
Rule 21: Accentuate the positive and other rules for ads(He might be intrigued to know you were once a man).
Rule 22: Don't live with a man(or leave your things in his apartment)(Unless you really like PlayStation boxing games).
Rule 23: Don't date a married man(This type usually yoo preoccupied to remember to ask you out before Wensday and too spent for rule 13).
Rule 24: Slowly involve him in your family and other rules for women with children(He should know that your brothers are bigger then he is).
Rule 25: Practice, practice, practice(or get good at rules)(date a lot, date often, date crowds).
Rule 26: Even if you're engaged or married, you still need the Rules(See what following this crap gets you? You deserve what you get).
Rule 27: DO the rules even when your friends and parents think you nuts(Your friends and parents disowned you long ago).
Rule 28: Be smart and other rules for dating in high school(it's okay to be gifted).
Rule 29: Take care of yourself and other rules for dating in college(No binge drinking if it wasn't planned before Wensday).
Rule 30: Next! And other rules for dealing with rejection(Aguy who didn't like the rules is a man worth pursing).
Rule 31: Don't discuss the Rules with you therapist(Hide all your shady aspects of your psyche and learn to stretch your therapy budget)
Rule 32: Don't Break The Rules(Un;ess he's a hottie).
Rule 33: Do the rules, and you will live happily ever after.(and valet park the pumpkin).
Rule 34: Love only those who you love(At least at night)
Rule 35: Be easy to live with(Don't have so many rules).
I got this out of the newspaper and thought it would be a good idea to post this. SO i hope this helps alot of people. Thanks ~*Quistis*~
15075 Category:(Discussion) Created:(9/18/2000 10:05:00 PM)