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Date: 2/10/2004 6:52:00 PM ( Admin-PY )
*shakes head* I'm sorry :( |
Date: 2/10/2004 6:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 16845
That is such a shame....if he is EVER going to get over this he really HAS to ditch his so called 'friends'.....Here's something very drastic....have your parents ever considered the possibility of moving? that way he would be no where near these people...true he'll be serving time but once he gets out...they won't be there to help him fall back into his hole...might not be a real realistic plan but....  |
Date: 2/10/2004 6:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 50864
I am so sorry for you family. How very sad I pray he will realise that he needs help and seek it on his own  |
Date: 2/10/2004 6:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 50499
Ahhh Bubbles I'm so sorry for you and your family. Your brother sounds like he really only wants to think about himself which is sad for you. Sometimes you just have to let go and maybe he'll come around in the near future...Zen hugs sweety...DragonFlyer  |
Date: 2/10/2004 7:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 53013
This is so sad. All you can do is say a prayer for him and hope for the best. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.  |
Date: 2/10/2004 7:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 62367
I am so sorry for the destruction of the hopes you had for your brother. Some people just need to do things the hard way, the really hard way. Don't give up hope though. Maybe being really in jail will wake up your brother. I hope so.  |
Date: 2/10/2004 7:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 45948
Awwww, I'm so sorry. I have been reading your posts and rooting for you and your brother. I don't know what to say to you except I'm sorry to hear this. Message me if you need anything. Love,  |
Date: 2/10/2004 7:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 8278
oh, i am so sorry. this sounds alot like how my husband use to be. he lived in a detention school for a while, he was in foster home, in and out of trouble with the law. and he was until we got married. he was 18, i was 19. he ended up getting in trouble with his friends and sentenced to 3-9 years. he was released after 3 years but still on parole. after he got home, he realized that his friends were no good. he stopped hanging around with them, and never got in trouble like that again. unfortunatly, he is still on parole and was stopped for a traffic incident. because he was still on parole, they took him to jail and he has to finish his time up there. we won't see him until august. but my point is, friends can and do have alot of influence on a persons behavior. my husband would be home right now with only a ticket to pay if he never hung out with the friends he did. when your brother does come home, try your hardest to keep him away from the friends he had. it could make the world of difference. i will continue to pray for him  |
Date: 2/10/2004 7:20:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49091
Thanx so much for all the prayers and kind words. Unfortunatly, he wont give up his friends. He is very headstrong n when he says hes going to do something, he's gonna do it.  |
Date: 2/10/2004 7:50:00 PM
From Authorid: 9059
Well heres the deal! Your brother reminds me of my old friend Julian! Now julian used to be a good kid, normal, had a girlfriend, did his school work. One day his G/F broke up with him. So Julian started to go downhill.he started drinking, doing drugs, hitting his sister and mother, all around horrible stuff! Now julian goes to the school for the bad and/or stupid kids (to put it nicely) he is failing all his classes and will not be graduating this year like he is SAPOSED to! Your brother ALO reminds me of my sister! partying, hanging out with hirrid people and the all around disregaurd for the family members that have to see all this stuff. she talks about getting drunk and high and whatnot and I am just constantly disapointed in her. but I learned that I cannot control her irresponsability! The big picture is that as much as you would like to change your brother for the better, only he can make that change. and my guess is, he wont even want to change till he is at the end of his string and NEEDS the change to survive. It a horrible reality but its true. People never see what best for them till its a necesity. I know alot of people say they will pray for him but that may not be enough for the boy. Time will have to tell and its no use beating yourself up about it in the meantime. Try to keep your focus on when he comes around and asks for the help to change. Thats when you will be able to truely help! (and sorry for any words spelled wrong!)  |
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Date: 2/10/2004 7:54:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49091
Srry for not relin before Becky, but no. We're not moving. My parents said thats definetly outta the ? cause we shouldnt have to change our life styles for him, he should be the one changing for us. Thanx scrappy. I mean, I fell care about him. But after today, he's lost most of my trust in him. I cant's believe ne thing he says anymore. Its the worst feeling in the world. |
Date: 2/10/2004 8:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 53360
Aww bubblesh, i am sad to hear this, you were so excited he was going to be home in a month and now this ugggh, brothers..mines in prison for another 3 years atleast, hope he decides to change his ways too. ~hugs~  |
Date: 2/10/2004 8:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 20956
awww, hun i am sorry, i know from reading your other posts how much this meant to you. i think if your brother is ever going to get better, he needs to stay away from his 'friends'. my cousin was in a very similar situation, though it never went as far as being sent away, but he was hanging around some really bad guys and lots of scary stuff was starting to go down and dragging his family into it an not only endangering his life (and his safety) but theirs too. his family moved and you know what? he is doing great!!! it was just the people he was hanging with everyday, they dragged him down. i hope your brother realises this before he wakes up one day and realises he's wasted his life!  |
Date: 2/10/2004 8:15:00 PM
From Authorid: 53900
I learned a long time ago that with people who have these kinds of problems you gotta be there for them and let them know you care but remember at the same time you cant do the program for him and until he is ready he is not going to change and more then likely he will have to hit rock bottom to actually want that help. I know it probably sounds like he is already there to you but he has to see that for himself. My thoughts are with you and your family though hope everything will work out in the end  |
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Date: 2/10/2004 8:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 16845
eh no problem my only other suggestion is once he gets his treatment to move him off to a willing relative that's away from these 'friends' (harsh again I know but ya gotta realize I've been studying juvi law...).... |
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Date: 2/10/2004 8:21:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49091
Thanx everyone...Becky, he "ran" from th treatment center today. When he is found, he will be arrested n will be setenced to over a yr in JAIL, not juvi but JAIL. The mx he can stay for is 5 yrs. |
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Date: 2/10/2004 11:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 16845
I Never said he was going back to juvi...said it was juvi law I've been into ;) hehe...just trying to throw ideas out there for ya'll...not trying to frustrate ya...so if I have I do apologize....I'm just speaking not only from my studies but experience as well...my cousin went through a similar situation (though not quite as severe).....Good luck to ya'll.... |
Date: 2/11/2004 6:22:00 AM
From Authorid: 15228
Oh, wow, I'm so sorry. I know you have to be very frustrated right now, but in the end he is the one making the choices and this is what he chose. Maybe somewhere down the line he will get his act together, I hope so. My own brother is 42 and what my Dad calls a "late bloomer". Ha! Late is right. After all these years he has finally quit drinking and smoking, has a job and place to live. Hopefully your brother won't wait that long, but there is always hope.  |
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Date: 2/11/2004 7:18:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49091
Oh no srry Becky. I didnt mean it like that. I understand what u were saying but I put "jail" in all caps cause he's only 16 and he should be sent to juvi, but he'll be going to jail for 5 years. Thats really scary. Srry for the misunderstanding :-( I hope so too Kelly. |
Date: 2/13/2004 9:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 1799
sometimes people just don't want to get better. if he doesn't want the help, then he's not going to get it. unfortunately, he'll probably be one of the people who learns the hard way... or doesn't learn at all... its a bad thought, and i hate thinking it, especially with whats going on with your life and all.. but if he's not careful, he could get a fate worse than jail.  |
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Date: 2/13/2004 2:52:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 49091
Thanx so much emi *huggs* I know what you mean
:-( |
