Date: 2/11/2004 5:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 55009
i would have let him decide... i know all too well what forcing homework and work in general can do as i have had to go through it... if you want to do it it gets done better than if you are forced.  |
Date: 2/11/2004 5:33:00 PM
From Authorid: 58334
Grounding kids never works. I'm one and it has been done many times. If anything it only makes the kids more stressed out. You did a good thing.  |
Date: 2/11/2004 5:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 49546
Well i would have done, just like my parents have done, let me do it, and leave it up to me, unfortunetely for me, didn't turn out as great as your son!  |
Date: 2/11/2004 5:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 51070
You did a great thing. It's reverse psychology, it seems like. I think that if you show that you really don't care what he chooses to do, he will be more responsive in trying to please you and get you to care. Grounding doesn't work. It only makes the kid angrier and more rebellious. I've been grounded many, many times. I've been grounded just for getting sick and staying home from school, so yeah, it doesn't work and it's stupid, unless the kid did something really serious. One time, I accidentally shot out the back of my dad's truck window with a bb gun and I was grounded for a month and a half from the computer. I never shot a bb gun again after that! LOL  |
Date: 2/11/2004 5:38:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53013
Thanks for the reassurance guys. My hubby says that I am some where out in left field when it comes to parenting. I guess he is right, there is nothing traditional about my parenting, but it has worked so far.  |
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Date: 2/11/2004 5:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 33504
A (B) in math says he is smart.. please encourage your child during the growing years, A pat on the back goes a long way. I know. Do not dicipiline but help direct...You might have a genius on your hands and blow the real chance that this young person has |
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Date: 2/11/2004 5:42:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53013
Oh trust me I will and always will encourage him, and I let him know when he does a good job. I know that that will go further then anything else. Thanks for commenting. |
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Date: 2/11/2004 5:45:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53013
That should read...I have and always will.... |
Date: 2/11/2004 6:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 32133
my dad would have grounded me.....for me getting grounded was horrible some kids doesnt do anything......its all about the kid.....plus i got grounded ALOT more stricter than most kids.  |
Date: 2/11/2004 6:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 1432
Grounding them was just tick them off and make them NOT want to study or whatever.. I would have done what you have done.. let him choose is mistakes and deal with the concequences (sp?)..  |
Date: 2/11/2004 6:20:00 PM
From Authorid: 11341
At the end of the first marking period my son brought home 2 A's 2 B's and an E. The kid didnt even get an F, he got an E! I had to take a different route than you did with your son. My son has ADHD and Asperger's Syndrome (a high functioning form of autism) so letting it just slide isnt an option. With him getting the A's and B's and the fact that he had been on Honor Roll before I let him know under NO circumstance would an E be ecceptable because he had already proven he can do much better. I grounded him big time. He got the E because he didnt bother to try or ask for help. This past marking period he brought home all A's! I never told him he had to get all A's but I always tell him to do HIS best. He did that. If I would have let it slide like you did I dont think his grades would have changed. Im very proud of your son for taking things seriously and changing for the better all by himself. That is so awesome!  |
Date: 2/11/2004 6:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 16845
No not grounded...would have set up a 'study' time for every night of the week though.  |
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Date: 2/11/2004 6:32:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53013
Thanks for commenting Banner and Systym44. DMK, That's great, thanks for sharing you experience. Becky, I think that is what he did all by himself. Had he not done and change his habits I would have step in. This was one of those trial and error experiments. |
Date: 2/11/2004 6:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 8278
it sounds to me like you did a great job. definitly the right thing. he is improving, so that shows that it worked. grounding would have probably just made him angry and he may have pulled the "I'm not going to do it now" attitude (i get that alot from my son) but in my oppinion, you did the right thing  |
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Date: 2/11/2004 6:38:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53013
Thanks Cage. That's exactly how I saw/see it. It's nice to see others are agreeing with me. |
Date: 2/11/2004 6:39:00 PM
From Authorid: 57232
I hope this isn't too off topic. But remember when you were younger did you ever think that you were going to be the decison maker. I think you made a great decision. Because you yourself was young once and you probably remember what you felt either way (A, F or all in between) I think your child is probably shocked and from not being grounded will want you to be so proud next report card.  |
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Date: 2/11/2004 6:43:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53013
Thanks for the reassurance, BMonkey. I really hope that this works. |
Date: 2/11/2004 7:01:00 PM
From Authorid: 40979
I don't think I would have done either . I would tell him that as soon as he walked in the door he was to get his homework done,and if he didn;t he would not be aloud to play ps2 , go out side or what ever . Then , once he was done with his work I would check it over and THEN let ghim have some time to him self . Love Always ,  |
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Date: 2/11/2004 7:05:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53013
Thanks for the feed back DeadPetals. |
Date: 2/11/2004 7:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 54968
There's some kids at school who get grounded if they get bad grades. But I don't think I would ground him.  |
Date: 2/11/2004 7:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 11097
Hi, Gentel Breeze sis :)! When it comes down to learning, you cannot force someone. Learning should be a fun experience and something one should look forward too, something that nurishes the mind and spirit. When someone is excited and determined to learn, there is no stopping them from obtaining the knowledge they thirst for, and I think that is the decision the learner must make. Of course you were disappointed, you want your son to do well and acheive his goals, but I think you did the right thing. If he can repsect your freedom in letting him make important choices for himself he will become responsible and determined. Goodluck and I'm sure those good grades are on the way! :)...  |
Date: 2/12/2004 12:34:00 AM
From Authorid: 51049
If he is already trying to do better, and you did not ground him, than why would you have to ground him?? He needs to help himself, and know that the actions he makes today will affect his future. Set up a study time every day after school or after dinner or something, and have homework be what he does before he gets to do what he may want. I wish my own brother would realize what consequences his actions hold for him....he will someday regret it, and than it may be too late. :(  |
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Date: 2/12/2004 7:28:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 53013
Thanks SportiAngel for your support. POL, sis, it's like your reading my mind. Thanks for the reassurance. FireCracker, I wasn't meaning to ground him now, that would be like beating him up for doing better. The question was would you have went out on a limb like I did or would you have stuck with the "traditional parenting." I was amazed that he did do the responsible thing and choose to do better. As for your brother, I hope that he realizes before it's to late. All you can do is just offer help or make suggestions. What he does is up to him. Take care. |
Date: 8/24/2006 9:22:00 AM
From Authorid: 39370
Grounding usually doesn't work in situations like this...forcing the work on them more than likely isn't going to motivate them much.  |
