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Date: 9/20/2000 4:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 1432
Well first off I would like to say that it does take two to tango and that the man is equally responsible for it as well as the woman. Maybe even worse when he chooses to not stay with the woman leaving a fatherless child. As for another thing with the very HIGH divorce rate I would say a good majority of the single women parents WEREN't single at the time they had children..but just that the marriage crumbled. I see what your saying..but how I read it was that you were wording it rather wrong and just blaming women. If I am wrong..then I am sorry  ...  |
Date: 9/20/2000 4:28:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Banner it is true it takes two to tango but that is not the point. My point is and I am not steroetyping women at all is if many women would avoid premature sex and just say no a lot of heartaches would be avoided.  |
Date: 9/20/2000 4:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 3277
look i know you mean well but like banner said it does take two to tango.its not only females having premature sex and not all females have had premature sex as you call it im pround to say im fifteen and still a virgin and will still be one until i get married.and i know more males whove had sex before they turned fourteen than females that did it when they were sixteen.oh and lets talk about adulturous affairs,the President of the United States the one person that little kids look up to had many affair no telling how many and your saying just because one woman had a one night fling makes her a tramp.but i think youre right about all the divorces and stuff theres way to many but sometimes they cant be helped.sorry if i offended anyone--twilight  |
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Date: 9/20/2000 4:52:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
3277 I am happy to know you are a virgin and you will remain a virgin until you become married. I also hope and pray you will become a fine and respectable young lady when you become an adult. |
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Date: 9/20/2000 4:52:00 PM
This is a very true post and it needed to be said, but make sure you don't forget that men should avoid sex as well as women. Men aren't the only ones with a sex drive. The main point here though was that God has set up a system for dating, marriage, and raising children. When we get away from these guidelines we are in big trouble. Sex isn't special anymore to a lot of kids because it has become a regular part of dating, just like kissing. There is a growing movement for abstainance out there and I hope it continues. Love, Pam |
Date: 9/20/2000 5:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 14651
Sorry Norman, I don't agree. Many single mothers were abandoned by their partners. Many of these children are not born out of wedlock and are not a result of casual sex. In my experience it is the man who was not faithful. Over and over again, why should I stay married to a man who's interest is clearly not with his family? I certainly do not blame my parents for this failed marriage. Also, there are many other factors involved such as mental illnesses, deaths, rape, etc. You also stated 'so many young women have chosen to engage in sexual intercourse prior to being married is the major reason why there are so many unwanted pregnancies and child births'. Well there had to be a man involved there too, and they are just as responsible for birth control as the woman. It sounds to me like you are putting all the blame on the female. I think you set yourself up for quite an earful from the women on this site! LOL -morning glory  |
Date: 9/20/2000 5:14:00 PM
From Authorid: 7092
Hmmm... I don't know how this is going to sound, but it's not ment rude. In your reply to Banner you said if woman would avoid premature sex, what about the boy, and guys... The girl has to be saying yes to someone..Again Norman this not ment rude..  |
Date: 9/20/2000 5:17:00 PM
From Authorid: 10344
The truth is, most realationships are formed of lust and not love  |
| Date: 9/20/2000 6:03:00 PM I agree with banner, not all single parent homes were out of wedlock pregnancies. Lets face it there is a lot of bum guys out there and until this country makes it harder for the males to get away from fathering children and then not taking care of there families then its going to continue to rise. I dont think you can pressure someone into following the bibles teachings it has to come from the heart. but if any young persons out there want to have a "little fun" well tell them to come and check out my sis in laws life.. a baby at 16 a boyfriend the said he "loved her more than anything in the world" ( in jail now). Friends that were once there are there no longer. its a struggle for her. If she had to do it again I dont think she would. |
| Date: 9/20/2000 6:13:00 PM From Authorid: 14559 I don't understand why all the responsibility has been placed on the woman. Why haven't you asked men why they don't face up to their responsibilities? I see by the other replies that they have addressed you as Norman. You apparently are male. Are all men immune to your persecution over this matter? I don' mean to sound rude, but you certainly seem one-sided. Unless there was an immaculate conception, there had to be two partners there. If all men avoided premarital sex there would be no unwanted pregnancies and childbirths. |
Date: 9/20/2000 6:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 13119
This doesn't seem like a question for discussion more like a rant on women having premarital sex. I am a single mother and the day my ex threw a hammer at my head I kicked him out on his keister. Mayhaps, like Banner, I got the gist of this wrong but you really should be saying all people should refrain. Human nature is to procreate and young people growing up today need to know how to protect themselves not get lectured on single motherhood. Why do you place all the responsibility on women (see your first reply to Banner) Anyway please don't take offence by this because as a single mother I do have some insight.  |
Date: 9/20/2000 7:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 10245
Guess what ....for every single mother there is a single father. Maybe there are so many single mothers because so many single fathers shirk their responsibility. They love to handle the "fun" part but can't handle facing up to the responsibility. Just a thought.....  |
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Date: 9/20/2000 7:25:00 PM
From Authorid: 12004
I believe it takes two to tango..but woman should get smarter about birth control..after all it is ultimately up to the woman since she is the one that becomes pregnant... ps..I dont class unplanned children as "headaches"  |
Date: 9/20/2000 7:54:00 PM
From Authorid: 14272
I didn't even have to read past the first sentence. I ain't even going to touch this one. Good luck on your search, though. Joyfulgirl  |
Date: 9/20/2000 8:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 7089
everyone has already said what i was going to-- perchance are you a woman-hater? not being rude, just curious; you never mention the fact that boys like to play doctor as much as girls do, and tho i don't doubt it is the girl who's left holding the baby a Lot more often than not-- no pun intended --the way i see it they both should've used the brains in their heads before playing around. if they're going to play doctor they should both foot the bill-- and we all know the price of doctor visits these days. ttyl, -tugger  |
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Date: 9/20/2000 9:22:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 7089 I'm not a woman hater at all ROFL. All I'm saying is when young women are confronted with the temptation of premarital sex just say no. I know its easier said than done but its not impossible. Like I told Banner if many women would just say no a lot of heartaches would be avoided. As the saying goes we bring a lot of unnecessary things on ourselves. We can be our own worst enemies at times and this is a fact of life. |
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Date: 9/20/2000 9:35:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 12004 birth control is not the issue. Premarital sex should be avoided period. I'm not suggesting that unplanned children generally speaking are a headache but an unplanned and unwanted pregnancy can and usually causes a lot of problems for an unwed mother especially one who is very young. |
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Date: 9/20/2000 9:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 7089
i know all that, & it is true we are the ones w/more to lose should something go wrong, but at the risk of sounding rather hedonistic-- i think that's the right word --why should guys get off so lightly? (har har, wasn't my intent to be crude.) if guys had more of a social backlash against them after having illicit sex, esp. from early on-- & around here they are called he-whores, looked upon w/as much disdain as their female counterparts --then they might think twice too. nobody likes being slurred against. but i digress...double-standards are not the issue. ttyl, -tugger |
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Date: 9/20/2000 9:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 13119
If you are so against premarital sex did you abstain until you were married? If not where is the difference? Please don't take offence. |
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Date: 9/20/2000 9:54:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 13119 I abstain from premarital sex even as I speak to you. I don't practice it, never have, and never will. I am still single even unto this day. I've never been married and don't have any children. Before you ask no I am not gay in any sense of the word. Not trying to sound self-righteous but I adhere to what the Lord plainly states and it pays off in big dividends. I am and always will be forever grateful for the Lord's everlasting grace. |
Date: 9/20/2000 10:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 7152
Why is it always the womens fought if she gets pregent? I mean come on now! Just because she is the one caring the baby does not mean that she is the only one that creatived it. I think more women or single moms because alot of women know how to take care of them selves better. And more men or what you would call "players" or what I call cowards. I think its all in the up bring of children. If you don't talk to you kids now about sex and brith control and diease and scare the heck of them, your going to have a single mother in your family. I think its also due to people getting married too young. They don't know what there are getting into and they find out that its not right, but oh wait we have a child.  |
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Date: 9/20/2000 10:25:00 PM
From Authorid: 7152
You also said if more women would stay away from premature sex there would be less single moms. Well what about the men. They have just as much permature sex, if not more. If they would avoid it ,this would also lower single PARENTS (not just women). |
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Date: 9/20/2000 11:02:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 7152 my point is just say no pure and simple. |
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Date: 9/21/2000 9:16:00 AM
From Authorid: 14704
Girls wouldn't have to say NO if the boys wouldn't pressure them. |
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Date: 9/21/2000 9:28:00 AM
From Authorid: 14272
Ok. I'll say no. LOL! Sweetheart, you need to wake up and smell the pharamones. Sex is something that happens. More often than not, between a woman and a man. The woman's body is the one that fertilization occurs. That's why there are so many singlr mothers. Plain and simple. Question answered. Joyfulgirl |
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Date: 9/21/2000 9:38:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
14272 I don't need to wake up and smell the roses. We all have choices in life. All of us. I am well aware where fertilization occurs but thats not the issue. My point is learn to say no and it is just that simple. |
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Date: 9/21/2000 10:32:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 14704 thats my point learn to say no. People are pressured everyday but that doesn't mean one has to give in to it. A woman who is pressured by a man to have premarital sex is no excuse. Author 14704 I am a 42 year old single man and I have withstood the temptation of premarital sex all of my life and I haven't regretted it in the least. The bottom line is I have chosen to follow the Lord's precepts and it has and is paying off. It is only by the grace of the Lord that I am able to resist the temptations of premarital sex and I won't kid myself about it. I have sexual desires just like any other man but the difference is the Lord puts those sexual desires in check and I am forever grateful for His everlasting grace which is sufficient for me. |
| Date: 9/21/2000 12:21:00 PM From Authorid: 14559 Are you hiding your contempt for women behind religion? I hope you won't find me rude by asking. Thanks |
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Date: 9/21/2000 12:40:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 14559 what makes you think I am hiding my contempt for women behind religion? What gave you the crazy idea I hold contempt for women? What part of just say no don't you understand? What is so hard about just saying no? |
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Date: 9/21/2000 4:10:00 PM
From Authorid: 14272
It's not up to you to tell women to just say no. We have doctors, websites, TV ads, etc... telling us the horrors of unprotected sex. Your opinion is immature and one-sided. And I said "pharamones" not roses. Sex happens, Buddy. Maybe instead of preaching you should help with the solution. Joyfulgirl |
| Date: 9/21/2000 5:49:00 PM From Authorid: 14559 Can you address specifically why you have made no attempt to hold men responsible? Or are you afraid to address that? Thanks |
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Date: 9/21/2000 6:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 7089
i agree: no is no, but no should be just as instilled in boys as it is in girls. that's all everyone is saying. i doubt if you feel like a female for still being a virgin at your age-- not knocking your choice btw, i find it bravery on your part to not give in to peer pressure --but since women are the ones ppl usually think of when the word is said, maybe by not holding guys responsible you give the illusion-- delusion --your gender is still manly? virgin ain't a dirty word ya know...we were all-- & some still are --that way at some point. just a thought. -tugger |
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Date: 9/21/2000 6:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 12004
Okay a couple of things to add.. I personally think that it unrealistic to think of most people avoiding premarital sex..{ as a matter of fact I hope my children grow up that they dont marry as virgins...I hope they find compatible sexual partners as well as life long partners..} my big concern with a sexual relationship now a days is more the risk of AIDS then an unplanned pregnacy.... you can live with an unplanned pregnacy but the chance of dying from AIDS is very high... May I ask you a question..do you want to marry someday and have children? |
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Date: 9/21/2000 7:47:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 14272 you comment and I quote:"It's not up to you to tell women to just say no. We have doctors, websites, TV ads, etc... telling us the horrors of unprotected sex. Your opinion is immature and one-sided. And I said "pharamones" not roses. Sex happens, Buddy. Maybe instead of preaching you should help with the solution." Just because there are doctors web sites, and TV ads doesn't solve the problem. Learning to avoid premarital sex begins at home not at the doctor's office, TV ads, or from a website. If you feel my opinion is one-sided and immature that is your view but it won't change the hard fact that many women out here are single parents. Some cases are understandable but other cases can be avoided by just saying no. As far as me helping with the solution I don't contribute to premarital sex because I don't practice it so there you have it. |
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Date: 9/21/2000 7:49:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 12004 I hope to be married someday and perhaps have children before I die and the Lord be willing but if it doesn't happen so be it. |
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Date: 9/21/2000 7:53:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 14559 men are just as responsible too but my point is and I don't know why I am perceived as being stereotypical and one-sided is learn to say no. It is just that simple...NO. |
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Date: 9/22/2000 8:20:00 AM
From Authorid: 14704
It is a typical man to blame the woman for not saying no to sex. The last I knew God gave us all a brain to use. We all, man or women, have to have the responsiblity to just say NO. Nothing in this world is going to change if BOTH the man and women don't take responsibility for their actions. |
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Date: 9/22/2000 9:12:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 14704 I'm not just blaming women as you readily assume. You're right God gave all of us a brain to so therefore use it if you get my drift. |
| Date: 9/22/2000 12:29:00 PM From Authorid: 14559 I don't think that author 14704 readily 'assumed'that you weren't holding men responsible. If you re-read your original story without bias, you will see that you have indeed addressed women almost solely. Too bad you just can't see that. Thanks for the posting though, I have been witness to a great sisterhood that lives here at USM. Its nice to see such intelligent, caring women around the world and I am proud to call them all my sisters. By the way I was single when my oldest son was conceived and born. I raised him by myself with no financial assistance from his absent father or the government. I always had options during my pregnancy but I choose to keep him. What a great soul he has. I married a man with whom I have another son (he turned 11 today). My husband never once judged me and I now have the 3 greatest men in the world in my life. |
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Date: 9/22/2000 2:54:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 14559 I know what I wrote in my original story so I don't need to reread it lol. It isn't my intentions to be biased here as some readily assume. I do admire your courage and strength in raising your oldest son by yourself without any assistance from the federal government or his absent father which I might add his father should have at least been there for financial support if nothing else and this is one of the things I am talking about. This is why I said in my story addressed to the women who will listen to just say no to premarital sex. I know its easier said than done but one must learn to look at the bigger picture and this is what I'm trying to say. I'm happy to hear things worked out for you in the long run and I hope you will have a happy marriage with many happy returns. |
Date: 9/22/2000 11:47:00 PM
From Authorid: 12823
What about the men? I did not see you mention the fathers. I too am a FIRM believer in abstenance. I have not had premarital sex and I never will. I know I am valuable enough to make a man make the commitment of marriage if he wants me. You mention the mothers, but why are the fathers left out of this post? The woman did not seminate herself! Why is it a single mother is considered "less-than-gracioius" but when you hear of a single father it is somewhat of a diety? Why the double standard? When people see a single father struggling, people say, "Wow, what a wonderful man for taking responsibility! He is such a wonderful father!" But a single mother is a tramp? Why are women shamed to have sex but men are proud of it? Why aren't men held accountable as well? Becasue it is a double standard. When I see a single mother, I think, "What a strong, courageous mother. She is truly a woman who has the weight of the world on her shoulders." When you see a single mother, ask not "Why is she like this?" Ask, "Where is the father!" I do agree with you Norman, premarital sex is WRONG. HOWEVER, (and that is a BIG "however" men are JUST as responsible! It is wrong of you to direct this post only to the women. Where are the men in this article? Are men not an important part of a sexual union? Well, I would think so. Broken marriages are a sad topic- BUT, it takes two for sex, it takes two for marriage, it takes to to make a marriage work, and it takes two to make a marriage fail. And what about women who leave their husbands because of abuse or cheating and they take the kids with them? What about these women? Are they expected to stay in a harmful enviorment just for the sake of the "man?" Most of the single mothers out there want to be anything BUT single! No mother wants this life for her children. There was probably a SEVERE reason for the mother to be single. NO woman would choose this over a happy union. There must have been serioius problems! The mother is still there so obvioulsy she has not given up! The father is the absent one, this shows fault on HIS part. I think you need to redirect this post to all the absentee deadbeat dads. Every woman wants a fariy tale family. They don't want to struggle on their own. It is usually for the lack of support form a horrible man that forces them into this situation. "Phew" -out of breath on this one. Love,  |
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Date: 9/22/2000 11:52:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Aeruxia your arguments are well founded and I am going to address the guys in another subject soon but my point to this whole story I've posted to the women who will listen is just say no. |
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Date: 9/23/2000
From Authorid: 12823
Great! I am looking foward to your next post! Love, |
| Date: 9/23/2000 12:32:00 AM can't wait for the sequel-- i hope it's worth bringing my popcorn to. <g> ttyl, -tugger |
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Date: 9/23/2000 8:32:00 AM
From Authorid: 14272
Okay, Norman. You seem offended by some of your replies. You have to expect opposing views when you write about something so sensative. Why don't you try to look at it from the other point of view? I have 3 kids and fortunately, a wonderful husband. Even with his partcipation and help, raising kids is downright hard work!!! My heart goes out to the women who have to do it alone!! Do you think they chose to go it alnoe? No. I doubt it. Another answer to your question; There aren't too many real MEN in the world. "Guys", if you will, pick up and leave and when faced with an unplanned pregnancy. The unwed, pregnant woman doesn't need your help to feel ashamed. It's not cool to walk around pregnant, no husband, knowing everyone is judging you. Believe me. I know. My parents' reigous view forced me to marry. I'm tired of this attitude. You can be one of those people who judge. That's fine. I'm not telling you how to think. Doing this compounds the problem, though. You use Bible verses to back your opinion. Do you honestly think God wants you to judge? Joyfulgirl |
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Date: 9/23/2000 10:31:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 14272 first of all I am not offended so lets not draw conclusions here. Yes I do use Bible verses to back what I have to say about many issues because it is the word of the Lord and His word is terribly true and accurate. I am not ashamed nor afraid to admit that. I am a Christian who has accepted Christ as my Lord and Saviour. I'm not judging anyone. The whole point to my story is just say no to premarital sex. I know its easier said than done but it isn't impossible. I never practiced premarital sex and I am a living witness to this. You're right 14272 there aren't too many real men in the word and it really is a sad state of affairs. I have witnessed many occassions whereby women became pregnant by their boyfriend then leave them high and dry. That is why I posted this story to the women who will listen to just say no to premarital sex. We all know it takes two to tango but thats not my point. I am happy to hear you have a wonderful husband and I pray you will have a happy, fruitful, and lasting marriage. Author 14272 I am well aware that this subject is sensitive and many will disagree with what I said but the reality is if women would say no a lot of unplanned and unwanted pregnancies would be avoided. Author 14272 when I was working at a local hospital prior to relocating where I am currently living the department I worked in cleaned, processed, and sterilized what is called Women's Clinic Suction Trays. These trays are used on abortion cases and I recall very clearly when that hospital used to average 12 abortion cases a day. It got so bad the hospital had to close that department down because of protests. This is a classic example of what I am saying. This kind of stuff can be avoided by saying no pure and simple. |
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Date: 9/23/2000 8:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 9219
I understand what you are saying about how women should say no, and they should be careful of these things at a young age. However, I feel that if these issues are pinpointed at women, then men or "boys" feel like they can take advantage of this and not have to worry about getting pregnant. I think and hear a lot said about how they can just do whatever and not worry about it . But they SHOULD! The thing is, I don't consider sex such a horrible thing, as long as it happens at a decent age and the whole thing is mature and planned and safe. I think that a baby is surely a gift, and nothing to be ashamed of at any time. I just think that women should not be having babies at teenage years and such. I think that too much weight is put onto a woman when guys sleep around a lot as well. And not all women are like that. You know, there are women who do absolutely everything to support their children over the years, just to have their husband/ boyfriend cause so many problems in their life. It's sad. It really is. Just from what I have seen, I want to feel that divorce is a mans fault. And that is wrong most of the time, but I have just seen too much so far... Blessed Be  |
| Date: 9/24/2000 3:15:00 PM From Authorid: 14559 Yeah Norman, You just keep preaching to us women to 'just say no'. You are the man! Regardless of what you think, you ARE sitting there in judgment of single women. I hope you are at least half as judgmental to men in your next posting. Seems like it would only be fair since they are half of the problem. |
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Date: 9/24/2000 5:24:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 14559 you comment and I quote:"Yeah Norman, You just keep preaching to us women to 'just say no'. You are the man! Regardless of what you think, you ARE sitting there in judgment of single women. I hope you are at least half as judgmental to men in your next posting. Seems like it would only be fair since they are half of the problem." Regardless of what you think I'm not being judgmental at all. Whether you want to admit it or not if many women would say no to premarital sex abortions and unwanted pregnancies would be avoided. I don't contribute to the problem never have and never will. I don't believe in nor practice premarital sex and it really has paid off for me. You may think I am attacking single women but that simply isn't the case. Author 14559 all I'm saying is just say no. I know its easier said than done but I'm a living witness to it and it isn't as hard as you may think it is. Stop taking this as personal attacks because it isn't personal. All I'm saying is just say no and it is as simple as that. |
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Date: 9/24/2000 6:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 13119
How dare you state that if women would just say no, there would be no abortions or unplanned pregnancies. This is a simplistic view in that you aren't even concidering all the poor women who end up pregnant when they are young/single from rape and abuse. I'm pretty sure they said no and for you to say that women have the ability to stop all this is WRONG! As long as there is rape and abuse there will be unplanned pregnancies and abortions. |
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Date: 9/24/2000 6:41:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 13119 women who are raped and abused is one thing and I totally understand that because in those instances it is a crime against their person but that has nothing to do with just saying no when one has a choice and is not forced. |
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Date: 9/25/2000 1:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 7089
call me cynical, but i do believe by pressing the issue norman has succeeded in making sure his next post will be read-- as to this one, it's plain it's all going in one ear & out the other on both sides. i'm taking my popcorn elsewhere-- would someone care to tell me when the sequel hits the screen? (if i don't see it for myself first?) thx so much. ttyl, -tugger |
Date: 9/28/2000 6:07:00 PM
From Authorid: 1574
Thank you Norman....1/4 past midnight , nice tag. You were reading the book of Revalations at the time you picked it right? Norm...can I call you Norm? ok...just say no. lets talk about that. It appears you were taught by a nun....then again, there are some nuns that have had a little mac and cheese before they were nuns...am I right? huh? You went the long way around to come a short distance and even then, you missed the point. Have you ever had sex? Don't tell me that if some freeky chick, caught your eye, that you wouldn't think twice about doin' the hunka chunka with her. WON'T BELIVE IT! NOPE! What you should be posting is "GUYS, YOU NEED TO CONTROL YOURSELF!" put it away! put it away! put it away! If you can't be a father, don't make babies. Its that cut and dry....it's easy to tell women to just say no, but when will the men learn that it takes more of a man to keep it in the pants, than to whip it out? You Norman on the other hand, need to use "IT" a little more, and I'm not talkin' about no five finger discount either. Before you set out into the world to "WARN" people of their faults, take a good look at your own. If you haven't experienced it, then you have no room to talk. Many of the single women out there do not choose to be single moms. Sometimes divorce is the only thing that can save them from an out of control idiot that thinks he's the stud of the earth...sometimes Its the guy that has cheated on the woman....or has beat her...or that does the abuse in the house hold. Where do you come off judging people? saying that it's the parents fault that things turned out the way they did? HOW DARE YOU preach the word of GOD! when he himself sent his only son to save an already condemmed world? John 3:17...or do you only know John 3:16? before you go and pass judgment on alot of people and go blame women and perents, because things are all screwed up in society, just remember, you are contributing to that corruption of society. The tongue is the sharpest sword in the universe, and 90% of our sins are commited by it. Belive that!  |
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Date: 9/28/2000 6:16:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 1574 you should be a comedian. I think you missed your calling. |
Date: 9/28/2000 6:18:00 PM
From Authorid: 600
Hey all!! I had to add my two cents. I was a single mother for almost five years. Believe me, it was very hard to do between work, school functions, sick kids..etc... It wasn't however as hard as being very badly abused by my husband. I was pushed through a window, cutting my arms very badly(took over 100 stitches). That was when I decided that no matter how frightening it would be for my children and myself, I would find the strength to do it. When I took my vows I was very serious and they came from my heart, but there are things that can happen in a marriage to make a person no longer wish to honor them. Just my thought btw. TAC  |
Date: 9/28/2000 6:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 13079
Norman, what rock do you live under? I dont understand why you are not posting a story to all the DEADBEAT DADS out there that go and sleep with 4/5 different woman and just walk away. Why should they not say no? Why should only the woman say no? Why dont MEN (I use the term loosely) take responsibility for their action? I'll tell you why!!!!!! Because of idiotic thoughts like yours!!!!! Yes Woman should say no!! But Men should not even POSE the question without the intent to stick around!!!!! SO, Norman, before you go throwing stones, you better go check the glass windows at the mens room!!!!!!!!  |
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Date: 9/28/2000 6:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 600
I thought I would add, my ex-husband now has 5 children, two with me which he fails to pay child support on regularly, 1 with his 2nd ex-wife, and 2 with a woman child 18 yrs. of age. Whom he has still not yet married. (Lucky for her) Anyway, the rope does swing both ways. TAC |
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Date: 9/28/2000 6:37:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 13079 if you would take the time out to see the stories I've written perhaps you wouldn't be so judgmental. You just like author 1574 don't think before you speak and I suggest the next time you come at me please come correct or don't come at all. |
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Date: 9/28/2000 6:58:00 PM
From Authorid: 13079
Excuse me, Norman, What are you saying that men should be allowed to follow whatever course that they chose, but women should beware? Are you insinuating that women must be stronger than men and should always be in control, while men are out there doing what ever they feel like? I am curious, what do you think of men who have children with 2 or 3 different women? Were the women all permiscuous (sp) or was he a scoundrel? |
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Date: 9/28/2000 7:15:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 13709 I admit I have to laugh because unfortunately you've missed the moral to both of my stories on this sensitive subject. Just say no and it is as simple as that. Although easier said than done it isn't impossible and I am a living witness to this. Pixie it is only by the grace of the Lord that I am able to abstain from premarital sex. Only by His grace which is sufficient for all of us. I'm not saying men should follow any course they choose and not suffer the consequences I'm simply saying just say no. If I sound like a square ladies and gentlemen by abstaining from premarital sex so be it. I'll just be a square until the day I die or become married whichever comes first. I think it's a sad state of affairs when a man has 2 or 3 children by different women and isn't married at all but wants to be a player so to speak. None of us are perfect but there are many things which can be avoided because we can be our own worse enemies. |
Date: 9/28/2000 7:41:00 PM
From Authorid: 2011
Norman, I'm just curious. How old are you?  |
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Date: 9/28/2000 8:00:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 2011 all that can be found on my profile. Simply click my author ID no.and you'll see. |
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Date: 9/28/2000 8:11:00 PM
From Authorid: 1574
Hey Norm....I'm right...right? eh? you had something to say about everyone else's comment...is that all you have for mine? I should be a comedian? It doesn't get any funnier than you PAL! |
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Date: 9/28/2000 8:17:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Jedi do me a favor grow up ok? You sound worse than my little niece and nephew. |
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Date: 9/29/2000 12:06:00 AM
From Authorid: 13119
I think Jedi is getting torqued at you because this is a very biased discussion on your part. As a single mother I find this offensive. Until you walk a mile in my shoes don't begin to think you know the truth. |
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Date: 9/29/2000 6:22:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 13119 why don't you read my other story addressed to the men before you come at me ok? |
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Date: 9/29/2000 10:39:00 AM
From Authorid: 13119
I have read your other story and found it to be a lot "softer" than this diatribe. You seem to find most fault with women and even the titles of the two are biased "Why are so many women single parents" as opposed to "Why are there so many men paying childsupport" don't you think the titles should both reflect your disdain at premarital sex. Instead of making it sound like the poor guys are getting screwed over by women it should say "Keep your pecker in your pants or Pay up" |
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Date: 9/29/2000 10:58:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Author 13119 your comment made me laugh and I won't lie to you. You may think my story addressed to the men is softer but that is far from the case. I understand your argument but the bottom line is this single women who become pregnant are the ones 95% of the time left holding the bag while lover boy runs off if you get my drift. I see this happening to many single women all the time and it is sad. I'll make this interesting for you. Since you are very colorful with your comments if you have any ideas as to what else you think I should add if any to my other story addressed to the men I'm all ears. Send me your reply in a private message ok? |
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Date: 1/1/2001 7:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 14572
Ok..When you wrote this post, were you on any kind of medication?????...Cause if you were, that would surely explain it all to me!! How can you preech or judge something that you know nothing about! You have never been "there" ..You said so yourself! Actually I feel sorry for you...You don't know what your missing! But then again with this kind of attitude, your not likely to find a woman! Not one who will respect you anyways...I truly hope that this is not the way you think...because lets say the day came and you had a child..A daughter none the less...And she happened to get pregnant...Would it be all her fault? Even if they were married and her husbands decides to up and leave, cause he can't handle the stress? You need to open up your eyes and get out of the 50's they are over now!! Things like this happen everyday...It This whole post in general was rediculous!! You have a real problem, maybe you should seek some professional help!  |
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Date: 1/2/2001 11:57:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Kathy A its people like you who tend to rationalize about many things and what you don't know I have alse written a story"Why So Many Men Are Paying Child Support"so why don't you read that then come on back and talk to me. As far as I don't know what I'm missing I do know what I am missing and that is premarital sex and I don't want any parts of it and I am not ashamed to tell you. I am not on any medication for you information and if you would learn to see the big picture perhaps you would think before you speak. |
| Date: 4/3/2001 1:24:00 PM Norman ,it would have been good if you would have back up premarital sex with scripture. |
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Date: 4/3/2001 8:48:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Unknown author apparently you haven't read my posting nor do you comprehend. |
| Date: 4/4/2001 11:27:00 AM Yes, I have read your posting/replies and you mentioned alot about premarital sex and how you yourself obstain from it and how women should just say no but you are not using any scriptures to back up premarital sex being a bad thing. In most of their eyes, there is nothing wrong with premarital sex and for you to just tell them to say no is the reason you are getting the replies that you are getting. This is the reason why I said you should have used scripture which you surely did not. |
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Date: 4/4/2001 10:19:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Unknown author I'll start you off with Exodus 20:14: "Thou shalt not commit adultery." Lets go on to the same chapter to verse 17: "Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour's." Do you understand those verses unknown author? Assuming you have a Bible please cross-reference those verses ok? Unknown author don't assume for one second I am just addressing the women for I have addressed the men as well on this issue also. It is only by the power and grace of the Lord that I can abstain from premarital sex otherwise I wouldn't stand a chance. I am a man and I have sexual desires just like any other man but the difference is I put it in check and it is only by the power and grace of the Lord who gives me strength daily to resist the temptation. Do you understand what I am saying to you unknown author? It is only by the power and everlasting grace of the Lord and no other. |
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Date: 4/5/2001 1:58:00 AM
From Authorid: 1574
Take two nurses and call me in the morning! |
| Date: 4/5/2001 12:45:00 PM Norman, I understand you and I understand those verses. I am a christian and I am not trying to bash you or anything because I agree with some of what you are saying. By the way you can call me Shawn. I must say though, that the verses you mentioned does not have anything to do with premarital sex because in order for sex to be considered adultery one of the partners must be married. I really enjoy reading your postings and I feel that we can learn alot from each other but it's just that if I see someone quoting scripture incorrectly I try to correct them because if I were doing the same I would want someone to correct me. I am so glad to see that you are leaning and depending on God to bring you through. |
Date: 4/6/2001 1:59:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 9544
Shawn we fully understand the adultrous part and theres no question regarding the element of marriage involved here but it appears you don't quite understand verse 17 in the same chapter and it covers a broad spectrum. Premarital sex or engaging in sexul activities outside of marriage is wrong in the eyes of the Lord and to point out to you just how serious He is here is a relevant Scriptural verse so please turn to the book and chapter and read all of it for those who continue in such practices and don't repent before it becomes too late this is what is going to happen..."But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death." Revelation 21 . That prophecy is a divine judgment from the Lord so please review every element of that prophecy for it is serious and I for one personally speaking for me don't want my soul to wind up in the realm of hell in the hereafter because of sex sins and any other sin or abomination against the Lord compounded with facing Him in judgment on the great day of Judgment. Shawn this is why I told you to do some cross-referencing in my previous response to you so as a Christian don't rationalize it because it is very, very serious for if you look around you right now you can readily see the end results in most instances of those who actively engage in premarital sex and quite frankly it is sad. No woman should have to raise a child on her own if she becomes pregnant by a man but it happens all of the time and it really is a sad picture. It is because society at large has set aside the Lord's precepts and principles found in His Holy Word that there are so many woes and it is only going to get worse and worse until people stop ignoring His precepts and take heed to what He says in His written word. Many people don't live by principle these days and that is why society in general is suffering many woes and unfortunately have not learned from history. History has proven time after time after time the eventual fate of those nations who chose to follow other doctrines and have set aside moral principles and precepts. Please get it through your head Shawn that what I base my argument on are divine laws and precepts which simply cannot be ignored or set aside for the end results are always fatal, tragic, and devestating with long-term effects and that is an historical fact. |
| Date: 4/6/2001 1:57:00 PM Norman, I understand you I just wanted you to clearify things for those who may not know the scriptures, which is the reason why I replied the way I did with the very first reply that I posted(you should have used scriptures to back up your what you were saying about premarital sex). |
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Date: 4/17/2001 6:45:00 PM
Thank God there is someone out there with those views on life.....If you don't want HIV or any other viruses DON'T HAVE SEX..... Its that simple.... God be with you....... In Hoc Signo Vinces |
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Date: 4/17/2001 10:38:00 PM
From Authorid: 1574
give me a break...lol...maybe you ^^^^^^ and stormin' Norman should hook it up! |
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