This is just a little something I wrote earlier this morning. I put it in Fiction because, well, I don't really feel like this...at least not ALL the time, anyway. It's kinda like a monoloque thought process kinda thing. Oh well, hope you enjoy it. ^_^
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Look at me wearing spikes, studs, chains, and pants that could provide shelter for the homeless. As a little girl, with my pigtails and frilly dresses, my biggest fear was becoming what I am today. I guess you could say I'm turning into my worst nightmare. But, can you really blame me? After all, it's what society is today. And all these labels that people are given. 'Punk', 'Goth', 'Prep', and what not. "Well, what am I exactly?" I ask myself everyday, but I always shrug it off as if it was nothing. It must not be if I haven't thought about it up until now, after fifteen and a half years of burning down my life's candle and now it's already one-fourth of the way gone. And now I realize that I've wasted twenty-five percent of my life becoming the one thing I dreaded being...a teenager. Just a normal teenager, who sleeps on black stained pillows because she cries every night after putting too much mascara and eye-liner on. Who also has a drawer of knives and scissors covered by bloody rags because she cuts herself, like everyone else, just because she doesn't think she can make it one more day. A teenager who dwells in a pit with all of her problems because she is too self-centered to care about anyone else. This is what I've become. These are the standards I'm expected to live up to every day when I set foot in my high school. And this is what has happened to me. I am what I am because people make me this way. I am what I am because I'm not perfect or lovable or beautiful. Because I'm stupid and broken and used. Because I'm nothing I want to be and I'm everything I can't stand. So what if I'm just one more suicidal teenager? Does that mean you wouldn't care if I died? ... ["And you don't want to be here in the future, so you say the present's just a pleasant interruption to the past."]
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That last little bit that's in between [ and ] is a line from the song 'Konstantine' by Something Corporate. <3<3
.:.Sphinx the Phoenix.:.
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