Being depressed has it's up-sides. I can tap into my creativity ;)
Falling apart inside and out. Wondering when this feeling will go away.
I don’t remember the last time I wasn’t crying, the last time my world wasn’t grey.
The last time I smiled was in a dream, the last time I laughed was at me
For believing my world would ever change or that my tears would be just a memory.
I put on a front of this happy girl who loves to see people win
But the truth is it kills me inside, rips me apart from within.
Never have I held such a grudge against the world and all it’s “wonder”
But it’s hard to hate everyone when you’re always going under.
My world is an ocean with thousands of waves, never stopping when I’m seen.
So when I’m drowning in my troubles I make it seem like I’m completely serene.
Happy and cheerful, always looking to the skies.
But when I’m looking up, I’m looking for a way out. My smile isn’t what it implies.
Inside my head I’m in another world where I’m in love and have many friends.
Where one good thing starts the other one never ends.
I can have it both ways, friends and someone for whom I care
I’m not criticized for what I think or won’t do. I never get slighting stares.
But then I’m pulled out of that world and I cry because I want back in.
So I put on my happy smile and pretend I’m happy- just like it’s always been.
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