Hillary Clinton and former Attorney General Janet Reno were having one of those girl to girl talks. Hillary says to Janet, "You're lucky that you don't have to put up with men making passes with you. I have to put up with Bill, and there is no telling where he was last ." Janet responded. "Just because I am considered ugly, doesn't mean I don't have to fight off unwelcome advances." Hillary asks, "Well how do you deal with the problem?" Janet: "Whenever I feel that a guy is getting ready to make a pass at me, I muster all my might and squeeze out the loudest, nastiest, fart I can." Well, that night, Bill was already in bed with the lights out when Hillary headed for bed. She could hear him start to stir, and knew that he would be wanting to fool around. She had been saving her farts all day, and was ready for him. She tenses up her butt cheeks and forces out the most disgusting sounding fart you could imagine. Bill rolls over and says, "Is that you Janet?" =========== Hillary Clinton gets elected President and is spending her first night in the White
House. The ghost of George Washington appears, and Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Washington says, "Never tell a lie." "Ouch!" Says Hillary, "I don't know about that."
The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson appears... Hillary says,
"How can I best serve my country?" Jefferson says, "Listen to the people." "Ohhh! I really don't want to do that."
On the third night, the ghost of Abe Lincoln appears...Hillary says, "How can I best serve my country?"
Lincoln says, "Go to the theater." ========= Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find out that she’s pregnant. She is furious. Here she’s in the middle of her 1st term as Senator of New York and this has happened to her. She calls home, gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming; “how could you have let this happen? With all that’s going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! How could you? I can’t believe this! I just found out I am 5 weeks pregnant and it is all your fault! Your fault! Well, what have you got to say?” There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screams again, “Did you hear me?” Finally she hears Bill’s very, very quiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, “Who is this?”
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