Date: 4/5/2004 8:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 53909
Wow, that's tough. Sounds to me that he's not being too fair and seems like he's willing to do more for himself than for the both of you. I wouldn't want to bring my 12 year old child to a home knowing that I'd be living with a party animal. Why should you make some sacrifices with your schooling instead of him? Since you both have a child, it should be just you two in a home, in my opinion, since your child is still so young. If he really loves and cares about you, he will respect what you want, and if he does..he will stay with you and not move. And if he knows that you won't go with him and he's still wanting to go, it might be best that you two are not together..because he's not being his child first...kinda get what I mean? I hope that everything turns out alright.  |
Date: 4/5/2004 9:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 20956
sounds to me he is being a tad selfish here ... he should be thinking about your child's well being before his own. i would try to have a serious talk with him  |
Date: 4/5/2004 9:36:00 PM
From Authorid: 53427
I remember your other post about him, and I would seriously do some thinking before doing this. You know whats best for your child, and I hope you stick to your guns and don't go. Good luck whatever you decide:)  |
Date: 4/6/2004 1:05:00 AM
From Authorid: 48250
No Ma'am You Are Not Being Unreasonable...It's Time For Daddy To Grow Up...And Take Care Of His Responsibility....His Daughter...And Her Mother...You, He And Your Daughter Are The Family...Not Cousin Josh...There Needs To Be Total Sharing Of The Responsibilities Of Your Child....You Do Not Need To Be Neither Have Your Daughter In An Environment Where There Is Partying...You And Your Child Need A Stable And Secure Home Environment...It's Time For Daddy To Realize This And Put Your Needs And That Of Your And His Child's Needs Before His Own...Love Is ...Not Selfishness...And He Should Have His Priorties Straight...Whom Comes First??? You And Your And His Daughter...Or Him And Cousin Josh???? Ask Him This....I Think You Are Mature And Are Very Intelligent....You Will Make The Right Decision For Both You And Your Daughter...And Finish That Teaching Degree, Too!....Best Wishes To You....God Bless.....T/C.....  |
Date: 4/6/2004 5:50:00 AM
From Authorid: 62104
If he's talking about making sacrificeis then I think he should be the one to do it for a change as you've put everything on hold for him so far. You sound fairly mature and I sympathise with you about not wanting to live with Josh- I wouldn't want to either and your boyfriend should try to understand and be more considerate of how you feel. If he is so determined to go then let him go by himself. Aren't there other places closer than Florida he could go to study motorcycle mechanics?? I think you should deffinetly start up your schooling in the fall and carry through with what you set out to do...It sounds more promising than the alternative (going to florida). If you want to talk more you can message me  |
Date: 4/6/2004 9:01:00 AM
From Authorid: 58611
I think you should stay right where you are honey. He is not thinking in a responsible way right now. You may have to make some sacrifices, but not the moving to florida ones, the moving on with your life kind. Right now the most important thing in your life is your child, and you need to be able to give this child a descent living, so you need to go to school now before it is too late. Let him go, he obviously has a lot of growing up to do and lessons to learn, and like most people,he will have to do it the hard way to find out. I dont know much about motorcycle mechanics, but I have never once seen an ad in the paper looking to hire one, and I have either been working or looking for work for 15 yrs. I am sorry you are having to go through all this, life is never what we think/want it to be, so we have to make the best of what we have, you may have to squeeze a few lemons for the next 5 yrs, but in the end you will have lemonade.  |
Date: 4/6/2004 10:04:00 AM
From Authorid: 30786
No you're not being unreasonable. Is there any way you can get a student loan and go to school where you are? If you have someone who can watch your child, that would be a good idea. Then you can make trips down to see your boyfriend and vice versa. If worse comes to worst, and you have to move down there, you'll have to make the best of it. At least it will be cheaper for you guys to live, and maybe you guys could set some ground rules for you all to live together. After only a year, you can go back to school yourself. Sit down and make a plan with him so that he knows it is your turn next  |
Date: 4/6/2004 10:15:00 AM
From Authorid: 6731
You are not being unreasonable, he needs to consider you and your child before setting his mind to doing something that will uproot all of you, and that is besides the school thing. If you are trying to better yourself by education, and he is too great, but there needs to be a comprimise on his part. It doesn't sound like he is even open to one. Does he have any other reason other than rent to stay with this other guy? Couldn't you just live near him? Not too close, but where he could see him occasionally? Have you explained about the way they act together? I'm sorry if none of this helps. Good luck :)  |
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Date: 4/20/2004 4:47:00 AM
From Authorid: 62655
Give it a chance, or don't. If you can't put up with a year of your boy doing what he wants to do, why should he put up with 5 years of your plans? If you really want to stay together either you must have the same interests, or you have to leave each other alone to persue your seperate interests. You will either do things together that you both want to do, or you will go to your school and he will go to his, and maybe you'll get back together later, but most people these days pick the wrong partners because they jump into romance before they establish a common interest. Most marriages fail within three years for this reason. You must have the same interests--Or leave each other alone. |
62585 Category:(General Advice) Created:(4/5/2004 8:38:00 PM)