Roadkill Cafe Menu
You Kill... We'll Grill it! Featuring Some of Alberta's Finest!
ENTREES (When you know it was hit on the run!)
Center Line Bovine $ 9.95 (tastes real good, straight from the hood) The Chicken $ 8.95 (that didn't cross the road!) Flat Cat $ 7.95 (served as a single... or in a stack)
A TASTE OF THE WILD SIDE ( buffalo still in the hide!)
Chunk of Skunk $ 6.95 Smidgeon of Pigeon $ 5.95 Road Toad a la Mode $ 4.95 Shake 'N' Bake Snake $ 5.95 Whippoorwill on a Grill $ 6.95 Narrow Sparrow $ .99 Rigor Mortis Tortoise $ 8.95 Gopher Stew $ 3.95
BAG 'N' GAG Our daily take-out lunch special! (anything Dead... In Bread) $ 4.95
CANINE CUISINE (You'll eat like a hog... when you taste our dog!
Slab of Lab $ 8.95 Pit Bull Pot Pie $ 6.95 Cocker Cutlets $ 7.95 Shar-Pei Filet $ 10.95 Poodles 'N Noodles $ 9.95 Snippet of Whippet $ 7.95 Collie Hit by a Trolley $ 7.95 German Shepherd Pie $ 5.95 Round of Hound $ 5.95
GUESS THAT MESS $ 4.95 A Daily Special Treat! (If you can guess what it is... You'll Eat It For FREE!)
LATE NITE DELIGHT (Served fresh each night, after dark!)
Rack of Raccoon $ 9.95 Smear of Deer $10.95 Awesome Possum $ 5.95 Cheap Sheep $ .95
(FREE PICK-UP SERVICE)
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"Tips For Being Handy Around the House"
1. If you can't find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it's an improved screwdriver.
2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.
3. What you may have been told by your mother, praying is helpful in home repair.
4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can ... many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.
5. If it's electronic, get a new one ... or consult a twelve-year-old.
6. Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning it to the "on" switch; or just paint over it.
7.Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have "fixed" it.
8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, and throwing sometimes DOES help.
9. If something looks level, it is level.
10. If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.
11. Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, ...............then it isn't stupid.
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Spring is coming |
