Date: 7/28/2004 10:30:00 PM
From Authorid: 49091
I woulda told him, what if I say it again now, will u dump me on the spot? If you love me so much, you would have NEVER said that. It seems like hes got more on his plate then he can handle and dumping all his frustration on you is not only shallow but not what you do when ur stressed. I'd not let this just slid away, like nothing happened. I'd confront him about it. Good luck!! *huggs*  |
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Date: 7/28/2004 10:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 49091
And to answer your question, your not terrible....AT ALL!! *big huggs*>> |
Date: 7/28/2004 10:34:00 PM
From Authorid: 62813
*QueenCheese it sounds like to me sweetie that he's testing the waters and I would definately speak my mind about anything that I wanted to !!! He can either deal with it or if he can't then he's too controling and you are better than that, to be treated that way !!! But how you handle that is up to you :)h
Your USM Friend,
Slickchick :->  |
Date: 7/28/2004 10:40:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 55988
Thanks Bubbles & Slickchick. I believe that he does love me, he is just *really* emotional. Because of that, I feel that if I say something it will just make things worse for him. It would be nice to get it off my chest, though. Slickchick, I felt like he was 'testing the waters' too. :o( It's not a good feeling.  |
Date: 7/28/2004 11:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 26452
Wow, if my boyfriend EVER said that to me, I would say it again, right there and there. You don't need a guy like that. I've had to deal with guys like that, trust me, hes not worth it, and I'm sorry, but if he would break up with you, over something like that, then he does not REALLY love you.  |
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Date: 7/28/2004 11:41:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 55988
Moon Angel, afterwards I asked him if it was that easy to get rid of me.. he said, "You know I could never get rid of you even if I intended to." He's not as bad as he may appear to be, we RARELY fight, but when we do.. it hurts.. :o( Thank you for input, I appreciate it. |
Date: 7/28/2004 11:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 62181
you have to realize that he's got some emotional issues that you can't and don't and won't ever own...don't take anything he says personally and give him space to work out his demons. Make it clear to him that you won't carry his garbage but you are there for him to share in his love. I just got done reading "The Mastery Of Love" I suggest it to ANYONE.....and EVERYONE.....if you really want to stay with him, it is possible to without feeling the guilt and fear he's trying to put onto you. Otherwise, I'd say you need to let him go because he's not in a position to love anyone, since he doesn't love himself. Good luck...peace....  |
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Date: 7/29/2004 12:53:00 AM
From Authorid: 26452
I am confused, first he says he would dump you if you ever said that again,and now he claims he couldn't if he wanted to? What was that then? Just something to threaten,or scare you with? Not very nice either way. |
Date: 7/29/2004 1:36:00 AM
From Authorid: 11348
It might have been something he just took out of hand, in the heat of the moment. Sometimes it is easiest to lash out at the people closest to us, to take anger out on them rather than the source. Tell him that what he says hurt you, and what you said was in no way meant to offend him. Make him apologize to you! I'm sure that he just has some problems with himself he needs to work through, and your best bet would be to just support him, through all of his lows and highs. Good luck.  |
Date: 7/29/2004 3:31:00 AM
From Authorid: 30747
Honey, I know you don't want to hear this right now but I gotta say it. Sometimes two people are together for the wrong reasons. It takes more than an attraction and some things in common to make a relationship work. By the sounds of it, it doesn't seem like either one of you have the instinct to give the other what they need right now. It's nobodys fault. There is not supposed to be this much confusion or hurt feelings in a relationship. My guess is he is having doubts about his WHOLE life and maybe a little fear about the decisions he is making. Here is some advice I learned a long time ago. You can take it if you want or not...it's up to you. If you want to stay with this guy then be his support. Be his friend. Right now he's looking for answers and you're giving him more questions. No, you are certainly not "that terrible". You are just like me and any other women. We kinda forget sometimes that the best thing we can do for our man is smile, hold his hand, listen and realize that sometimes it's not about us. In the end, you will get back what you give. Don't worry. It will be alright.  |
Date: 7/29/2004 5:23:00 AM
From Authorid: 62753
Geez, I am so glad I dont have to tolerate guys anymore, since i found my husband, but honey he sounds like a danger to you - not hpysically, but emotionally, and mentally he is abusing you - its called emotional blackmail.... and dont you fall for it. --------> you tell him that you are human and you too can just as easily say BUH BYE! Lizard-1  |
Date: 7/29/2004 7:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 4144
if he really loves you he wouldn't threaten to break up with you for speaking your mind. what he did was to take some control over you. the fact that you posted this proves it. no, you should not feel sorry for what you said. and you not keep your mouth shut just to keep him from being upset. just be careful. you don't want to get stuck in a controlling relationship for the rest of your life. unless of course........you are doing the controlling!!  |
Date: 7/29/2004 8:18:00 AM
From Authorid: 31765
He asked "Who am I?" I'd say "An adult. Act like one." Honestly, I wouldn't tolerate that sort of emotional blackmail. I wouldn't give him a chance to "take" his ring back, I'd give it back to him. I don't mean to sound harsh here. I'm angry on your behalf :) No one should ever be treated that way. Being in a relationship means being yourself, NOT walking on eggshells around the other person. Good luck and best wishes. :)  |
Date: 7/29/2004 9:33:00 AM
From Authorid: 60395
lose him! he's not worth your time if he treats you like that.  |
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Date: 7/29/2004 11:02:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 55988
thank you all for your advice, I will definitely put everyone's thoughts into consideration! |
Date: 7/29/2004 4:59:00 PM
From Authorid: 49889
Im sorry, but I think your going to have to tell him how you feel. A relationship's foundation is based on respecting eachother's opinions. If he can't do that, then he has a serious problem. Its really not your fault- you never had any evil intent. On the other hand, he is obviously going through some turmoil about who he is, so try to understand that its likely that its not you hes upset with; only himself. Still, tell him how you feel, and if he reacts badly, remember that there are many more guys out there who'll treat you better! You have a good heart; dont let him trample on it!!!  |
Date: 7/30/2004 6:32:00 PM
From Authorid: 30786
At first I was going to tell you, "If football is what he wants to do and what makes him happy, let him do it" but after reading the rest, I don't know. That just seems really odd to me that he would threaten your relationship (and that WAS a threat) over something like that. Is it possible that he is looking for an excuse to break it off? In any case, he has no right to make you feel like you can't speak your mind or that you have to walk on eggshells around him. So you'd rather that he be happy instead of both of you upset? (if you bring it up) Honey, NO! Your feelings are just as important as his, and you don't deserve to have all these bad feelings festering within you just so that he won't get pouty. Don't put yourself and your needs below him. If you are not happy, or if you need to have a talk about something with him, DO IT. Your happiness depends on it  |
