Go to Unsolved Mystery Publications Main Index Go to Free account page
Go to frequently asked mystery questions Go to Unsolved Mystery Publications Main Index
Welcome: to Unsolved Mysteries 1 2 3
 
 New Mystery StoryNew Unsolved Mystery UserLogon to Unsolved MysteriesRead Random Mystery StoryChat on Unsolved MysteriesMystery Coffee housePsychic Advice on Unsolved MysteriesGeneral Mysterious AdviceSerious Mysterious AdviceReplies Wanted on these mystery stories
 




Show Stories by
Newest
Recently Updated
Wanting Replies
Recently Replied to
Discussions&Questions
Site Suggestions
Highest Rated
Most Rated
General Advice
Ancient Beliefs
Angels, God, Spiritual
Animals&Pets
Comedy
Conspiracy Theories
Debates
Dreams
Dream Interpretation
Embarrassing Moments
Entertainment
ESP
General Interest
Ghosts/Apparitions
Hauntings
History
Horror
Household tips
Human Interest
Humor / Jokes
In Recognition of
Lost Friends/Family
Missing Persons
Music
Mysterious Happenings
Mysterious Sounds
Near Death Experience
Ouija Mysteries
Out of Body Experience
Party Line
Philosophy
Prayers
Predictions
Psychic Advice
Quotes
Religious / Religions
Reviews
Riddles
Science
Sci-fi
Serious Advice
Strictly Fiction
Unsolved Crimes
UFOs
Urban Legends
USM Events and People
USM Games
In Memory of
Search Stories:


Stories By AuthorId:


Google
Web Site   

Diets And Excercise

  Author:  62675  Category:(Humor) Created:(7/29/2004 8:48:00 AM)
This post has been Viewed (822 times)

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables? A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio? A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good.

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you? A: You're not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle? A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me? A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

-Sunni

You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click here

Scroll all the way down to read replies.

Show all stories by   Author:  62675 ( Click here )

Spring is coming

Replies:      
Date: 7/29/2004 8:55:00 AM  From Authorid: 62704    lol, that is so funny. I wish it was true. I think the one about swimming and the whale is hilarious. ~Star Angel~  
Date: 7/29/2004 8:56:00 AM  From Authorid: 24003    LMAO! This is tooo funny:) Bookmarked for sure. Thanks for sharing.  
Date: 7/29/2004 9:00:00 AM  From Authorid: 43015    LOL!!!!! these are sooo funny!! hahahaahah =D  
Date: 7/29/2004 9:04:00 AM  From Authorid: 24003    The whale one was my favorite. LMAO  
Date: 7/29/2004 9:06:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 62675    I liked the whale one too!!!  
Date: 7/29/2004 10:14:00 AM  From Authorid: 53558    *Chuckles* Very interesting. Thank you for sharing..(",)..  
Date: 7/29/2004 10:25:00 AM  From Authorid: 23101    *ROFL* He he.. I loved the cow, whales, and fast foods ones the best Sunni. He he.. *hugs*  
Date: 7/29/2004 10:53:00 AM  From Authorid: 61811    Lol, Sunni you're great! Did you make this or did you find it off a site?  
Date: 7/29/2004 11:29:00 AM  ( From Author ) From Authorid: 62675    I received it in an email  
Date: 7/29/2004 11:52:00 AM  From Authorid: 62813    Too funny...and the one about the whale is definately a hoot...lol !!! Thanks for the funny and great post !!!
Your USM Friend,
Slickchick :->
  
Date: 7/29/2004 4:42:00 PM  From Authorid: 62752    that was great thanks for sharing "giggles" love KK  
Date: 7/30/2004 12:10:00 AM  From Authorid: 53909    LOL! Those are funny.  
Date: 6/20/2006 10:17:00 PM  From Authorid: 63427    LOL my grandma has a pool and is always wanting me to come and swimm w/her for excercise but lol wait tell the nxt time she says that I'll use the wale one. :-) LMAS thats so funny.. Thanks for sharing.

Find great Easter stories on Angels Feather
Information Privacy policy and Copyrights

Renasoft is the proud sponsor of the Unsolved Mystery Publications website.
See: www.rensoft.com Personal Site server, Power to build Personal Web Sites and Personal Web Pages
All stories are copyright protected and may not be reproduced in any form, except by specific written authorization
Other Cool Sites:
demo.weirdmysteries.com 
demo.digitalmusicinmotion.com 
demo.haunted-ghosts-apparitions.com 
demo.myfamilybonds.com 
demo.eternalmysteries.com 
demo.internetmysteries.com 
demo.internetmysteries.com 
demo.theinternetbusinessnetwork.com 
demo.thetimehascom.com 
demo.personalebay.com 
Awesome Free Web Graphics 
Favorite Grapic Quotes 
Greetings in Glittery Text 
Your name in Glittery Text 
www.thehomebusinessindex.com 
www.diet-food-weightloss-health.com 
www.investingandinvestments.com 
www.cancerinformationworld.com 
www.datinglovematchmaking.com 
www.creditinformationworld.com 
www.insurancelinksdirect.com 
www.ilovemysteries.com 
www.casinopokergambleing.com 
www.make-money-while-sleeping.com 
www.vacation-travel-cruse-deals-information.com 


.

Pages:950 858 716 703 758 1244 531 330 253 22 5 489 1237 1091 1134 487 1085 824 1306 664 476 86 421 220 313 664 417 235 652 491 400 698 27 469 161 1133 1571 495 907 18 345 688 1585 1016 1461 1411 403 397 207 498 1561 465 975 478 1572 981 1381 200 1588 589 793 1259 925 239 1257 419 588 618 819 41 796 1566 52 1306 508 310 981 1039 547 1281 8 137 722 747 434 1191 561 629 1390 113