For his wife's birthday party, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription:
"You are not getting older, You are just getting better."
When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, "Just put 'You are not getting older' at the top, and 'You are just getting better' at the bottom."
It wasn't until the good doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered it read:
"YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT THE BOTTOM."
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Hear about the blonde who...
Got hurt when she fell out of the tree while raking leaves.
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hear about the blonde that Changes the baby's diaper only once a month because the label said "Good up to 20 pounds."
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Needing a man is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time you need him, chances are you won't be needing him again.
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Two doctors are walking down the corridor of the hospital. First doc asks, "Did you tell that lawyer in room 316 that he was going to die?" "Sure did", second one answers. First doc says, "Darn! I wanted to tell him!"
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After reading the morning headlines about the recent stock market downturn, a high-powered executive trying to impress a client in his office, flipped on his intercom switch and barked to his secretary, "Miss Hunter, get my broker!"
The client was impressed until he heard the secretary's clear voice saying, "Yes, sir, stock or pawn?"
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Why won't blondes eat pickles? Because they're afraid they'll get their heads stuckin the jar
How many blondes does it take to make a circuit? Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the blow dryer
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Over dinner, my husband and I were discussing a party we’d thrown the night before. “The Andersons are such an interesting couple,” I said. ”She has an MA from BU, and he has a Ph.D. from MIT.” That’s when our young son put down his fork in disgust. ”What’s wrong?” I asked. He replied, “You’re always spelling, and I never know what you’re talking about!”
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Over dinner, a woman said to her husband, “I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me. He used really bad language, and he even threatened me!” “How did you meet this fellow?” her husband asked, very concerned. She said, “Well, we met by accident. I hit him with the car.”
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