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Being Loved On...

  Author: 50490  Category:(General Advice) Created:(8/5/2004 2:08:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (441 times)

Ok, if a guy is shy about being affectionate or being the first to hold you hand, all the lovie-dovie things...what's the best way to reassure him that he won't look stupid or whatever for doing it?

My guy has some emotional scars, he isn't the best at showing affection. He does of course when I show it first. He seems to really love it.

Why he keeps the wall up even still, I have no idea why.

It's hard for me to show affection, I have issues from the past as well, so I do know a bit about how he is feeling. I do hold back alot too, for 2 reasons, 1) I react to him the way he does me sometimes, just too shy (maybe shy isn't the right word, but something is going on) to kiss him first or reach for his hand. 2) I am afraid to put myself totally out there.

We do love eachother, and we are intimate (we express ourselves very well then; ironically, the chemistry from that is perfect)...we do the lovie -dovie things, but it always takes us a while to work up to it. I am tired of being apprehensive about giving my guy a hello hug or kiss. I am sure he feels the same way.

How do we work on this, that would be comfortable to us both, should I just go for it when I want to. I mean, will it be too much for him, or ease him into being affectionate as well?

I hope this makes sense! lol THANKS!

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Replies:      
Date: 8/5/2004 3:33:00 PM  From Authorid: 62588    When I had been dating my guy for a while, I asked him why he never kissed me. That opened up the gate. Now, he kisses me enough to annoy me.  
Date: 8/5/2004 6:04:00 PM  From Authorid: 62338    The reason he don't show it, is because he don't want to be hurt again..Just be patient with him and keep assuring him.If you want him to show more emotion then show him more emotion.Hope this helps...  
Date: 8/6/2004 6:29:00 PM  From Authorid: 30786    I think that once you guys are together for a while and become really comfortable with each other, it will just come naturally. Just work up to it slowly and do it with confidence so he doesn't get a weird vibe. Whenever he does start to show you affection, tell him "I just love it when you give me hugs for no reason" or whatever it is he has done.  
Date: 8/7/2004 2:10:00 PM  From Authorid: 62739    Sweety, he has a latent fear of rejection. Affraid that if he makes the first move, you will reject him. It's easier for him to wait (because you are worth waiting on) for you to make the first move, and he doesn't have to worry about being rejected. ~Russel~  

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