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Date: 8/5/2004 5:12:00 PM ( Admin )
Tell her you love her and you care about her. You thank her for the great son she had and you can never repay her for him and how great he is. You wish to be her new daughter and aren't sure how to aproach things with her. If she could help it would be so very much appreciated. |
Date: 8/5/2004 5:13:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62682
That is good advice, thank you Admin.  |
Date: 8/5/2004 5:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 36704
if she's anything like my mother, just beat your head against the wall a few times it's quicker and less painful  |
Date: 8/5/2004 6:02:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62682
hahahaha Base...thanks for the laugh, I needed a good laugh!
~~~Humming Bird |
Date: 8/5/2004 6:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 15228
LOL@Base---It sounds like you are doing everything you can. A card would be a nice touch and write in it what the admin said. The ball will be in her court at that point.  |
Date: 8/5/2004 6:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 42945
I think what George advises here is a good way to approach this awful situation.....if that doesn't work, at least you know that you have tried....hugs sweetie  |
Date: 8/5/2004 6:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 28989
You definitely did the right thing by being honest and setting boundaries. Sometimes you just have to let things simmer while the other person thinks it over. At least she realizes what makes you mad. I don't think there's anything else you can do to mend things now except to wait. I had this experience with my own mom, where I just told her up front everything that was bothering me. She reacted by being very hurt and trying to put the blame back on me. But I just stood my ground. Within a few weeks, we were on speaking terms again, and I noticed that my mom went out of her way not to overrun the boundaries I set for her. I hope everything turns out all right for you.  |
Date: 8/5/2004 9:00:00 PM
From Authorid: 16671
Its kind of hard as far as inlaws are concerned. And yes boundries of some sort have to be set. But one needs to remember that the moms and dads of you both, probably feel like I do with my kids and grandkids and daughter and son in laws, we have did our best over the years to help, and sometimes yes we do need to just butt out and walk away from getting into their problems, but for years it seems the kids, their mates, have made their problems our problems, and now that they believe they are big enough to go at it by themselves then they dont believe the parents should have much input. LOL. Until of course the next crisis. So what ever you do, do it as delicate as possible because feelings will be hurt, as they probably feel that your trying to cut them out of your lives. I don't know the situation on your part or your husbands or what this problem is all about. Above all do what God tells you do to and that is to honor your parents. I think radman had the best idea. Yep us old grandpas and grandmas are a funny lot, after doing the rasing of the kids, the helping to get them along in life, the helping with grandkids and all, we get a little irate? Hurt? when we might feel were being pushed aside. Granted we should not try to run our kids lifes, but somewhere I'm sure a comprise can be made. Good luck hon.  |
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Date: 8/5/2004 9:55:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62682
That is very good advice First Born and I appreciate that advice! |
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Date: 8/6/2004 8:16:00 AM
From Authorid: 16671
Thank you hon. |
Date: 8/6/2004 9:46:00 AM
From Authorid: 4144
it's hard to get the parents to butt out. some people just want to cause trouble. i would just send her the card or you could even print out this post and send it. it couldn't hurt! i am 40 years old and my husband is 41. my parents are constantly in our business. his mom would be more too but she lives a little further away and can't just drop in whenever she wants. she does though more than enough. i have even gone as far as to hide my car when i go home on friday evenings and keep it hid til monday! i'm serious, i usually park on the carport and everybody knows it. if i stick my car in the garage and people drive by the house and don't see the car, they don't even turn up on my road. i have found that is about the only way i can have a peaceful weekend. i would just send her a copy of this post. she will see you are making an effort to make things right. today is my daughter's 20th. birthday and i try not to butt in to her business. i know i do at times but she does live in my house.....eat my food.....drives a car that i pay the insurance on.......is startng nursing school in a couple of months and will need me to pay for it. but i still try to butt out of her personal business. good luck and let us know what happens.  |
