Tell-tale Signs of a Loser...
He has a wife and a cigarette holder - neither one works.
If it rained soup he would have a fork instead of a spoon
She's had bad luck with two husbands, The first on left her, and the second one won't.
She got a divorce and all she got was custody of her 'husbands parents'.
He waited for years for Dame Fortune to knock on his door, but it was her daughter, Miss fortune, showed up.
He worked two years on his boss's signature, then the perfectly forged check came back, marked 'Insufficient Funds'.
If he went into the men's pants business, men would start wearing kilts.
He's as useless as a one legged man at an butt kicking contest.
Couldn't hit the side of the barn from the inside with all the doors shut.
His boss would gladly pay him what he's worth, but it's against the Minimum Wage Law.
She bought a house with lots of doors for opportunity to knock on, but only his 'relatives' did.
He couldn't direct traffic down a one-way street.
She's a two-handicap golfer - she has a boss who won't let her off early, and a husband who keeps her home weekends.
She has delusions of adequacy.
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Ways You Can Tell You Are A Sad Sack
You get fired from your job at McDonalds.
You are so annoying that even your multiple personalities won't speak to you any more.
Your imaginary friends keep finding excuses not to come over.
Your mom still pick your clothes out for you.
You pick your nose and don't care who sees you.
You are over 30 and still living with your parents.
You look forward to going to a Catholic church for confession just so you can have someone to talk to.
You welcome calls from phone salesmen because no one else will talk to you.
You remind a teacher that she forgot to give homework.
You notice that all of your long-distance phone calls start with "900."
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