Well I havnt decided to send that card out or not. I appreciate all of your replies to the first post. Some of you were kinda saying in away that it was hard to give advice on my situation without knowing a little of the details. So, I thought Id give alittle bit more detail into the situation then you can help me make a better judgement if I should send the card or not to my In Laws. I thought Id make a seperate post about it because it may get alittle long..hope it doesnt though, but there is alot more to share.
In the beginning:
My husbands folks are really great people, but they can often times be really over bearing as much as I do love them. It started out with helping them with little things. Mowing their yard, helping her rearanange, if we were going to the store and they needed something we would pick it up for them.
As it went on:
It started to get to the point that the In Laws were calling all the time just about. They would call to have us come over and help them carry in grocieries, mow their yard, to go to the store when they didnt feel like going, to go to the store with her, just alot and it seemed everyday they needed something or some kind of help that they were capable of doing for themselves. There was one night she called at 10pm to have us bring over a loaf of breaded they wanted for breakfast. I was getting ready for bed but she gripped and complained so I got dressed and I went. They could have done without that bread in the morning. Stuff like that....it was becomming redicoulouse.
It also started to get to the point that she would butt in to other personal areas of our life. Children, medical treatment we are seeking to have children, telling me what my husband does and does not want, where and where not we should spend our money.
Further down the road:
My father had mentioned a job opportunity to my husband that my hubby was interested in checking out. Now, he was just feeling the water..it wasnt for sure he was going to take it and he did not take it. But I went over to the mom in laws to get his resume off of her computer. She was asking lots of questions and I was trying to explain the best could when I got the feeling she thought I was pushing him into this. SO I told her that I was not pushing him into this, but I definatly do support him on it. She jumped down my throwt about how me and my family have done nothing but push him since the beginning of time. This wasnt the first time she has brought my family into it and has put my family or I down and it has been bad ever since. Her and I had a big fight, and after much talking, debating, and thinking, we decided this has gone to far and it was time to set some boundaries.
Well, you know the rest..she stormed out after we told them our boundairies and would not listen to a thing we were saying. In her mind she is always right and I have always heard from this family..."Do not take on mom" ...well we took her on and wanted to discuss it and work it out but she stormed out and was not willing to talk about it. But, we are not on speaking terms at the moment, and I am afraid ties will be cut. We want to work this out...but she can be a mean woman and very hurtful. It is very hard to discuss something with her, there isnt much talking that goes on because she emmidiatly goes into attack mode.
So I wrote out this card saying that I love them and we appreciate all of their help. I say that I am sorry for all feelings hurt on both sides but we cannot just ignore this big elaphant in the room. I know they would probally rather not talk about it or ignore it but somehow we have to find some even ground for the sake of my husband and family. Somehow we have to work on this, I want to set it right. I want to be a daughter and not the evil daughter in law from the west.
So what do you think? Am i pushing it by sending this card, would I just be stirring the pot. Should I just let it lay or do I try. I dont know what else I can do...so now that you have alittle bit more of the details...what do you think?
Sorry so long:
~~~Humming Bird
You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or
interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click hereScroll all the way down to read replies.Show all stories by Author:  62682 ( Click here )
Spring is coming |
