Do you ever have those really yucky days when you want to do something but there's nothing to do? Sundays suck for me cause it's like everyone's rest day at my house, lol. They all go to sleep, or watch tv, and I'm the only one awake, or I just don't like watching tv. So it's really depressing. I usually find something to do. I play guitar or draw or listen to music or something. I've just felt like crap the past few days. Not like sick just kinda depressed. Which isn't exactly a rare thing. I'm drinking green tea which is oddly making me feel better. It's seems like everytime I think I'm getting better I start thinking to much. Like questioning my dedication to something i.e. guitar. I don't know why it's like this really annoying 'voice' (I don't actually hear voices lol) that tells me I'm just faking it. But I know I like it cause I like to play and learn more stuff about it. Until that annoying little voice comes along and ruins it for me. It's like it's always there. And it's always questioning every little thing I do. And I have such a low opinion of myself already. I have such low self esteem. I think I suck even when people tell me I'm good at something. And it's like everything I start I usually give up on it cause it's too hard but I don't want to give up on guitar and art. I think maybe that's what that little 'voice' is. Or at least part of it. Me telling myself to quit again. But then what will I ever amount to if I just give up all the time. I'd rather it be hard with learning/doing something I'm actually interested in than something I'm not interested in. Ok I should shut up now I've already typed more than anyone wants to read. But if you finish this thanks!
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