= = "An Ode to Customer Service" = = WOODEN NICKEL   Author:  27583  Category:(Humor) Created:(9/29/2004 5:52:00 AM) This post has been Viewed (604 times) "An Ode to Customer Service" I have a little problem. So, I call you on the phone I'm given numbered options To punch them each by tone. After hitting number 7, Then 2, 8, 6 and pound, A short recording tells me That no operators can be found. They're busy helping others And would I hold, this once? Because my call is SO important. What am I? A dunce? My call's not so important That I'll spend an hour on hold, While my shoulder aches, my patience bakes, And my coffee grows green mold. Nothing your recording says Can cause me to believe That my call will be taken In the order it was received. So, down I put the telephone And up I pick the modem To find solutions, on your site, And, once found, download 'em I calmly wait while DNS Looks up your URL, Until your server answers Your home page front door bell. I wait for frames to paint themselves, My solution to begin. And then, I wait for plug-ins So I can see your logo spin. I wait to get an audio file, Greetings from your CEO. He doesn't get the Internet. But, he loves the radio. I wait for a picture of Your building is on my screen And I realize there are things That should not be heard nor seen. Finally, there's a menu And I poise my mouse to click. But first, a Java applet! "Starting Java. " I know that won't be quick. The menu choices indicate You know yourselves full well. You know all about your company And that's what you want to tell. But, where's the button, I can push, That takes me to the page That solves my problem? Feels my pain? And soothes my mounting rage? There, in the lower corner, Down by the copyright, There's a little tiny icon That looks as if it might ... Be a link to customer service. My troubles soon will quit! I click upon it and I get ... A 404 ... Oh, sugar. (for a word that rhymes with quit) And when I finally reach that page That promises relief, I'm staring at a document That's far beyond belief. For, where there should be answers To frequently asked questions And online help and knowledge-bases, Is naught but indigestion. For, there in type italics, Underlined and bold, Is the number for Your help desk phone. I should have stayed on hold. =============== You can join Unsolved Mysteries and post your own mysteries or interesting stories for the world to read and respond to Click here Scroll all the way down to read replies. Show all stories by   Author:  27583 ( Click here ) Spring is coming