Date: 9/29/2004 4:42:00 PM
From Authorid: 45630
Secretly I don't think guys can be. THose girls will always be the unattainable hence making them mroe desirable.  |
Date: 9/29/2004 4:43:00 PM
From Authorid: 35720
Guys and girls can be just friends.. trust me, I have a crapload of guy friends.. none of which I'd be romantically or sexually involved with.  |
Date: 9/29/2004 4:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 53909
It's alright for guys and girls to be just friends. I think I mostly have guy friends than girl friends and my hubby is okay with that, he trusts me. Sounds like your bf is being a little paranoid or that he might not trust you or any of the other guys? It's a normal feeling. I kinda get a little parinoid when my hubby chats or whatever with another girl. LOL! But I trust him. It's always good to have friends of the opposite gender.  |
Date: 9/29/2004 4:47:00 PM
From Authorid: 3688
your boyfriend is paranoid. I have plenty of male friends who are just that...friends...in fact they're more like brothers to me than anything lol  |
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Date: 9/29/2004 4:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 45630
sorry my spelling today is really bad.lol. |
Date: 9/29/2004 4:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 55251
Well, I suppose if thats the case. Your boyfriend shouldn't hang around any girls, because he only wants one thing from them, right? But your boyfriend sound in secure and perhaps jealous of them. Now who knows, the guys could be flirting with you and you not knowing about it...But to say that all guys are like that, is pretty crazy. I have many female friends, who are ONLY friends. I admit most males do only want one thing :P but not all. Yes guys are girls can just be friends, it all depends on the attitude of both people. Hope this helps and good luck with this situation. Always There,  |
Date: 9/29/2004 5:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 62146
well I think in this case your boyfriend is being paranoyed because it is possible to stay friends. but it has happened that friends become more than friends (like with the one guy you mentioned lol)he is aware of that it seems he just need to be aware of the posiblites of them staying friends in his past he must of been only friends with guys but I have guys friends who I remain friends with and so do alot of my female friends ect. I think maybe let him hung out with you and your friends and he can see you guys are just friends maybe.  |
Date: 9/29/2004 5:06:00 PM
From Authorid: 53284
The answer is yes and no. Sure you can have lots of friends of the opposite sex. BUT when you get into a committed relationship (think marriage) then I think that it is dissrespectful to maintain friendships of the opposite sex. When you are truely committed you wouldn't want to create an environment that could hurt the feelings of your SO. When you're young and dating it shouldn't make a difference. After you become involved in a long term relationship I think that you can still be friendly with someone of the opposite sex but I don't think that you can be buddies. BTW my marriage has lasted 27 years.  |
Date: 9/29/2004 5:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 37101
Guys and girls can be close, close friends even with girlfriends and boyfriends being involved. But it requires a certain level of maturity and responsibility that is generally unseen amongst us teenagers. Darn hormones. -  |
Date: 9/29/2004 6:05:00 PM
From Authorid: 37843
I'm a girl but YES guys and girls CAN be JUST FRIENDS.... I don't know why your b/f doesn't see that but most of my friends are guys and I don't have feelings for them besides friendship. If it wouldn't have been for my best friend (a guy) I would be completely and utterly lost. so in short your b/f must be paranoid that he is going to lose you. good luck w/ him ~WP  |
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Date: 9/29/2004 6:09:00 PM
From Authorid: 37843
No offense WildBob, but if my b/f or husband can't accept that my best friend is a guy I won't be with him (the b/f/husband) because he (my best friend) has been there for me when noone else could be, and vice versa. |
Date: 9/29/2004 6:19:00 PM
From Authorid: 61020
i know im not a guy, buuuut...i believe that girls and guys can be friends cause thats how it works for me and my b/f...but i also know that this can be different for other people. My b/f tells me that many guys are usually just jealous...some more than others, about their girl being with other guys. As long as you have certain guidelines set with your other guy friends i dont see why there should be a problem. I think your b/f is probably a little paranoid and possibly a little jealous?? hmmmm...hope that helps some...Good Luck!!  |
Date: 9/29/2004 6:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 21435
Sure...Girls and guys can be friends. Long as it's talkie-talkie and not touchie-touchie. If it gets to that point (touchie), well then forget it and re-define the word, "friendship." Write on..:)  |
Date: 9/29/2004 6:53:00 PM
From Authorid: 51587
I have lots of guys friends..so ya guys and girls can be friends.lol *Huggs*  |
Date: 9/29/2004 7:13:00 PM
From Authorid: 20956
yeah - i have heaps of guy friends, some of them are amoung my closest friends :)  |
Date: 9/29/2004 7:16:00 PM
From Authorid: 55386
Pfft....Girl and guys can be friends, and still have boyfriends or girlfriends. I mean, if you're a jealous, untrustworthy, person, than yes, maybe they can't be...in you're own reality....Gah, I'm having trouble with this, because all my female friends say I like all my guy friends (so not true) so yeah....I think they can be.  |
Date: 9/29/2004 7:46:00 PM
From Authorid: 47218
romantic relationships depend upon trust and being able to establish proper boundaries in the rest of your relationships. Honestly, where these boundaries lie is pretty much negotiated on a couple-to-couple basis-- y'know, some couples aren't comfortable having any sort of outside cross-gender relationships, while others, well...ahem. Anyhow, it's not a fixed thing. I think your boyfriend's point of view is just *a little* simplistic-- I mean, by saying that a guy and a girl can't have a genuine friendship, he's insinuating that every male-female relationship is an opportunistic put-on so that the guy can get one thing, at which point I would ask him, "Is that what your relationship with me is, then?" So men have no emotions or character complexity whatsoever and are just a gigantic sex drive? Doesn't that sounds silly? (well, for some guys, maybe...)And it doesn't account for the multititude of different types of relationships that men and women carry on in our society-- by his account, every encounter should involve the guy trying to get into the girl's pants. Just doesn't happen that way. Men and women are quite capable of carrying on different types of relations and they do. And then there's the matter of his lack of trust in you. If he can't trust you to set boundaries in your relations with guys, how can he trust you at all, and what does that say about your relationship?  |
Date: 9/29/2004 8:48:00 PM
From Authorid: 37150
it depends, in ur situation i think guys and girls can be friends b/c ur spoken for. u have a boyfriend and he's the one ur with so obviously he needs 2 trust u that ur not g2 cheat or stray.u need 2 calmly reassure him. but, if he can't trust u at all, then do u really want 2 be with someone like that? Good luck,  |
Date: 9/29/2004 9:23:00 PM
From Authorid: 13609
Hey i have the same problem with my Bf. Coz he says he can trust me, but he can't trust my guy friends.. Its so annoying because i know nothing would happen between my guy friends. Plus i tell him that he has girl mates. Its a hard situation really. Would you feel upset if he was hanging with other girls??  |
Date: 9/29/2004 9:25:00 PM
From Authorid: 22308
well yeah guys and girls can just be friends. you're boyfriend sounds way too paranoid about not trusting you. usually when that happens, something might be up, but who knows.  |
Date: 9/29/2004 9:57:00 PM
From Authorid: 28190
I have more male friends than female friends, and I am married. Most of them I have known my whole life and are like brothers to me. My husband has always accepted this because he knows that they are merely friends and nothing more. I think your boyfriend is paranoid, or maybe even jealous that you have these male friends because he, himself feels that way about his female friends OR he is insecure. Trust is a big issue when it comes to this type of situation. You either have it or you dont, and maturity also plays a huge part in it too. I really cant give you advice as to what to do in this situation, but I can tell you that if these friends mean something to you, dont let them go. If your boyfriend truly loves you, he will in time realize there is nothing more to it :) *hugs*  |
Date: 9/30/2004 6:44:00 AM
From Authorid: 19772
Well if you'll notice most of the woman are saying yes and most of the men are saying no. I used to be a firm believer in "Yes woman and men can just be friends" My fiance kept telling me that "No, men always want more than just friendship." Here's how I see it, yes you can be "friends" with guys. As in when you see them you say hi and chat for awhile. But as far as going out and doing things together like going to the mall as just friends that never works out. I had two "best friends" who were both guys. We all worked together, we hung out together, we all even did a weekly breakfast thing. Well as it turned out they both had huge crushes on me and it turned out pretty ugly. Needless to say I'm not friends with either of them today and unfortunately they even ended their 12 year friendship with each other because of it. ~Take Care~  |
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Date: 9/30/2004 9:03:00 AM
From Authorid: 62821
Of course they can. I'm friends with my sister, for example. I have lots of friends who are girls who i see as sisters. Once you have a sisterly relationship with a girl, anything but friendship is not possible. Loads of girls are like sisters to me. It all depends on the boy and the strength of his morals. Although you can't blame a guy for fancying a girl. It's ultimately a decision based on empirical ideas. Dan |
Date: 9/30/2004 9:19:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 39139
Thanx for all of your comments guys. to be honest, i know that i would be a little jealous if my bf had girls who were friends, but at the same time i'd be able to step back and say that i trust him with all of my heart and i know he would never be so weak as to cheat on me. thanx again!  |
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Date: 10/1/2004 1:00:00 AM
From Authorid: 13609
Beth, you're the same as me..i admit i'd feel a little bit jealous, but yeah whats the point in that? If we can trust them, they should be a ble to trust us!! |
Date: 10/4/2004 3:28:00 PM
From Authorid: 34865
I say yes, girls can have guy-friends. lol i mean think of all of our friends @ home who are guys, i wont say names on here, but you have a lot of guy friends from west that are JUST friends. well i'll be online if u want to talk
love always but not in the gross way
~Christine  |
