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50 ways to get kicked out of the mall (hilarious must read)

  Author:  17290  Category:(Humor) Created:(10/26/2000 1:42:00 PM)
This post has been Viewed (15075 times)

i got this out of the magazine TWIST it's the no way special - im only gonna name my favorites not all of them.

1.ask the woman at the shoe shop,"honestly, do you think these sandles make my butt look big?"

2.Pretend the ATM is a slot machine. Scream "Jackpot!" everytime it spits out a twenty.

3.pick out a glam, expensive dress,then try to charge it on your library card.

4.Announce over the PA system that you're lost and would like your crush to come and find you

5.try to organize a square dance in the middle of Virgin Megastore.

6.stand at the bottom of a staircase and scream "Somebody call the maintance.This escalator is broken."

7.go into the big and tall store and ask if they have anything in extra-small.

8.attempt to buy a $7.00 item of clothing with loose pennies.

9.Were your pj's to the mattress store, lie down on the biggest, softest bed , then ask one of the clerks to read you a bed time story.

10.see how many chunky wool sweaters you can pile on at once before passing out.

11.Attempt to eat your weight in free cheese samples at the Hickory Farm's stand.

12.buy a mask and snorkle then take a dip in the fountain.

13.use sample perfume bottles to "mace" shoppers vying for items you want.

14.pretend you work at the gap and then approach all the cute gut customers and explain that due to the shoplifting problems you are required to follow them into the changing room.

15.approach every single person in warner bros. studio store and ask "Eh what's up doc?" untill you a) get escorted out or b) get punched in the face

16.discover wheather or not you fin inside a samsonite.

17.walk around with a pooper scooper and ask people "have you seen my pet pit bull?"

18.wear a red and white santa hat plop yourself by the entrance and ask all the gorgeous guys if they want to sit on santa's lap

19.attempt to organize a tag you're it game in barnes and noble .

20.slow dance with a manniquin at the tuxedo shop.

21.stick gummi bears all over your face then charge into the candy shop and demand that they set your fellow gummies free.

22.tell the manager at Kay Bee toys that tickle me elmo asked to be tickled in a very inappropriate place.

23.grab some hair off teh floor of the salon then run around screaming "i got a lock of AJ's hair!" (from the backstreet boys)

24.put metal clips in your hair at clairs accessories, then yell out"My head's picking up HBO!"

25.attempt to build a leaning tower of cd's at tower records.

26.say to people going into T.G.I.Friday's "cant you read a calender? its wendnesday we're closed"

27.try on giant granny underwear over your jeans asking people how you look.

28.pretend the escalator is a roller coaster. wave your arms above your head and scream "Faster Faster!"

29.Hide inside a sleeping bag and scare the crap out of unsuspecting patrons at Eddie Bauer.

30.buy some bath and body works and take a long bubble bath in the mall fountain.

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Halloween is Right around the corner.. .

Date: 10/26/2000 1:46:00 PM  From Authorid: 10733    

lol/... soooo funny
Date: 10/26/2000 1:51:00 PM  From Authorid: 7157    lol!! that had me rolling out of my seat  
Date: 10/26/2000 1:53:00 PM  From Authorid: 16845    I like # 18, except instead of santa it'd be Mrs. Claus. lol  
Date: 10/26/2000 1:53:00 PM  From Authorid: 17487    LMAO....those are so funny. Thanks for the laugh. StormTracker5  
Date: 10/26/2000 1:57:00 PM  From Authorid: 7683    LMAO, thanks I might just try some of these, I get really bored sometimes LOL  
Date: 10/26/2000 2:01:00 PM  From Authorid: 14780    my trip to the mall will never be the same. lol.~~~~katsho30  
Date: 10/26/2000 2:13:00 PM  From Authorid: 10577    lol these were great
i actually did #19 last year with a friend. hehhe lets just say i am not aloud to go back there
Date: 10/26/2000 2:41:00 PM  From Authorid: 15852    OMG those are so funny! my gut hurts!~~~jesseycakes
Date: 10/26/2000 2:46:00 PM  From Authorid: 16164    these are so funny.I just might try a few  
Date: 10/26/2000 3:28:00 PM  From Authorid: 12072    LOL, these would be soooo fun to actually try!! God bless! Luv, ~*Becky*~  
Date: 10/26/2000 4:09:00 PM  From Authorid: 18516    those wre really funny! i read them to my dad and he spit his drink all across the room!! lol thanxs 4 sharing!! lots of love *steph*  
Date: 10/26/2000 4:32:00 PM  From Authorid: 1432    LOL those are funny!!!...  
Date: 10/26/2000 6:51:00 PM  From Authorid: 6915    omg these are great to use tomorrow @ my trip to the mall ;0)  
Date: 10/26/2000 8:15:00 PM  From Authorid: 18376    How funny! I can't stop laughing.  
Date: 10/26/2000 10:03:00 PM  From Authorid: 14314    LMAOLMAOLMAOLMAO. Sooooooooooooo funny, I loved this. God bless.  
Date: 10/26/2000 11:17:00 PM  From Authorid: 14464    LMAO!! I loved these they were helarious. Please if you can send all of them to me through e-mail my addy is (sexagesim@hotmail.com) thanx.  
Date: 10/27/2000 12:33:00 PM  From Authorid: 14254    LOL!!  
Date: 10/27/2000 3:40:00 PM  From Authorid: 17115    Stop...no more..my sides are killing me...LMAO!~Midnight Mist  
Date: 11/12/2000 9:11:00 AM  From Authorid: 19908    these are great!! LOL, thanx for sharing!
Date: 11/20/2000 2:42:00 PM    I had a really bad day today and your story made me laugh.
Date: 2/4/2001 12:06:00 PM  From Authorid: 22721    LMAO. That is funny!  
Date: 6/30/2001 11:20:00 PM  From Authorid: 37669    I LIKE THE GUMMI BEAR ONE! wheee...  

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