Date: 3/27/2008 10:26:00 AM
From Authorid: 21764
*hugs* sometimes its good to just talk to someone objective and get all your thoughts and fears out! good for you!  |
Date: 3/27/2008 10:29:00 AM
From Authorid: 28848
It helps to talk things out, especially when you can be open with someone that you know isnt personally attached to the situation and can be completely unbiased.  |
Date: 3/27/2008 10:33:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62100
Thanks guys..that's why I do my postings here too because although USM is like another family, and I talk to some of the USM family outside of the site, usually my thoughts can be more easily put into form here and everyone here is always really supportive and helpful...I try not to get overdramtic and hold things in sometimes..then it finally comes rushing forth..LOL I really think that the psychologist will help though- I don't talk about it alot but the things that I've been through could keep a soap opera or Jerry Springer alive for at least 3 years..:)  |
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Date: 3/27/2008 10:35:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62100
..and I talked to a psychologist for a brief period, but I'm thinking I didn't get everything out as much as I'd thought I had..LOL..I have deep rooted trust issues that go WAY back to my parents splitting, and going through what I went through with my exes certainly didn't help.. |
Date: 3/27/2008 10:38:00 AM
From Authorid: 51393
I have been there knowing how terrible it seems day by day.It's truly difficult to be believed everything in it's place.Sometimes we need to take things one day at a time and just breath life.You need to try to relax and accept the good things.Things has turned around and this time is your time to enjoy life.Breath and just let go of the past.....((((hugs))))).....Much love and God Bless...  |
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Date: 3/27/2008 10:39:00 AM
From Authorid: 51393
I have been there knowing how terrible it seems day by day.It's truly difficult to be believed everything in it's place.Sometimes we need to take things one day at a time and just breath life.You need to try to relax and accept the good things.Things has turned around and this time is your time to enjoy life.Breath and just let go of the past.....((((hugs))))).....Much love and God Bless... |
Date: 3/27/2008 10:39:00 AM
From Authorid: 62146
I would say your not crazy, you jsut need to talk to someone. And thats understanable.  |
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Date: 3/27/2008 10:40:00 AM
From Authorid: 51393
oops sorry got redundant lol |
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Date: 3/27/2008 10:57:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62100
Thanks Diana..and I've hit that redundant button a few times LOL..I really appreciate your reply..most of the time I'm good at that, I can shrug it off and know that everything is good now..but sometimes, like now..it borders on almost causing me panic attacks and I get moody and broody..thanks for understanding and for the great advice!! |
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Date: 3/27/2008 11:00:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62100
Thanks Cosmic Freak..you're right..I do..and I try to do that but I feel as if I've talked it to death with those that I love and who ARE supportive..but they don't fully understand..I know this, and they're NOT objective because they love me..they're awesome and they try to make it better, but I know that I'm the only one who can do that..and the next step to being able to do that is to just get it all out to a professional who will likely tell me all the things that I already know..LOL But hopefully it will help.. |
Date: 3/27/2008 12:31:00 PM
From Authorid: 64498
This happens sometimes go ahead and go you may see you really dont need to go for long!!! But some times good things can over whelm you too!! Good Luck  |
Date: 3/27/2008 1:35:00 PM
From Authorid: 63011
You're not crazy, you were treated badly in the past, and you're scared it could happen again. I think your fears are justified. I'm the same way when it comes to relationships. I wonder if the next guy will hurt me, too.  |
Date: 3/27/2008 3:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 26303
A therapist may be of help too. Someone to give you the stratergies you need to get you through these thoughts. So that you eventually, don't have them. I can understand your insecurity, you are only be self, what is the word I'm looking for?, self...You are only looking out for your own self <not the word but it will do. My parents split when I was young and impressionable (15) and it has affected me too. Don't beat your self up over it, because that doesn't help either. Speak to the psychologist or therapist, get those stratergies and move forward. I admire you for the fact that you recognise you need to sort this out. Too many people try to do it on their own, and that doesn't always work. You've made the first step, talking about doing it, now go make that second step and get some phone numbers. Thinking of you, take care.  |
Date: 3/27/2008 4:56:00 PM
From Authorid: 4995
I understand completely. I am the SAME exact way. My bf treats me really good but since I gained weight I am so uncomfortable in my own skin I cry if we just go to a resteraunt with pretty skinny college girls in them. *I swear they CLONE those girls!!!* yes,go talk to someone and please dont feel like you are alone. If you ever need to talk..PM me....HUGS!* CP.  |
Date: 3/27/2008 6:06:00 PM
From Authorid: 10657
Sweetie, I think you might be suffering from what I so dearly call the it must be to good to be true syndrome. It's when everything in life is working out perfectly and you have to find something at fault. I think this happens to those of us that have had a diffucult past or those of us with low self esteem. I have very high self esteem but, suffer from the well, there must be something wrong blues.  |
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Date: 3/27/2008 9:06:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62100
Thanks so much for all of your words of support and for the advice everyone..it really makes me feel so much better!! I am going to still go to see the therapist if nothing more than for my own piece of mind..but I don't feel as badly as I did..talking about the feelings does seem to make them less powerful..but I know that I still need to really banish those demons for good..:) ((HUGGS)) to you ALL..you're amazing!! |
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Date: 3/28/2008 12:56:00 AM
From Authorid: 64593
I can't completely understand where you're coming from as there is no child in the picture with my husband and me, but I know what you mean as far as the trust thing, wondering why he loves you so much, etc. It's really sad the way past things that aren't our fault are somehow made out to be and we make ourselves feel bad and like we don't deserve all of the wonderful things happening. As hard as it is to leave things in the past and not compare how much better this guy/girl is than the last, we will always have scars and that is so much of what brings on the worry. I hope you feel better about everything soon and I'm so glad things seem to be going so well!! :) hmmm I'm not sure if I replied to this post correctly. |
Date: 3/28/2008 8:37:00 AM
From Authorid: 56359
I know this feeling very well. For years I was sad, and hurt. And now that I'm becoming very happy, I don't know how to deal with it. It was as if I was so comfortable being miserable that it was a strange feeling to be happy. If you think talking to someone would help I say go for it. I've never gone to a psychologist and slowly but surely I'm learning to deal with happiness. Either way, it sounds like you have a nice future ahead of you, and you'll be fine. Thanks for posting this. It got to me:)  |
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Date: 3/28/2008 9:51:00 AM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62100
Thanks again for the continued support everyone..it really does make a difference. Author # 64593..your answer was fine..it made sense..honestly :) Thanks so much Screen Writer..I'm glad that you are moving ahead and finding happiness also..and don't get me wrong..I really AM happy..it's just like I said..i'm So happy that it scares me, because every time I'm happy in life bad things happen..so I keep expecting it, and waiting for it..and I know that I can't go on like that.. |
Date: 3/28/2008 3:02:00 PM
From Authorid: 16671
I had been not only physcially hurt but emotionally hurt by an ex boy friend that lived with me. I had met too many men in my life that were either physical or emotional abusers. I wont go into the so many things that I have been sorry for and even once in a while today, I start to dwell on them. So I have to stop that from entering my mind and think on good thoughts. When I met my now husband and he is so good to me, like you I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. This could not be right, I was not worthy of someone being good to. I could not understand what he saw in me, why he was willing to take on me and four children. You first step is to know that it was not your fault concerning your daughter, sometimes things happen that we just are NOT responsible for. I want you to talk to your daughter, tell her your feelings of guilt over the situation and then ask her to forgive you for not seeing. You may have did this already, but you need to do it now, once again that she is older. You will be surprised at how its going to take a whole burden off your shoulders. Now when it comes to the man in your life, what I learned the hard way, is that you need to learn to live one day at a time. Not thinking what He may do later, or that it may not work out, because those feelings of being insecure will drive him away. I found that if I live one day at a time, not dwelling on what could happen wrong, that it makes a world of difference because one can either be frantic, guilty, jealouse,and worry and make their day horrible with things that have NOT happened, instead of enjoy the day. When we do those things we are ruining our day that could have been good but our mind has not allowed it to be good. IF the bad happens on a day in the future, OH well, it was going to happen rather you worried about it for years or not. BUT on the other hand if the good continues for years and or for ever, then you will have a good life IF YOU put the worries away. Worry will NOT stop a thing from happening. I'm going to be honest here with you. I was never jealouse in my life until I met this husband. I worried and was high strung all the time worried that he would cheat on me. All those days of feeling up tight and tense and he didn't do anything UNTIL he did. And really on one hand I'm glad he did cheat and I had a heck of a time getting over it, but the thing that I feared was upon me and all my worrying didn't stop it, it just made my days yuck. SO now (12 years ago) I don't worry if he is going to cheat or not, I take one day at a time, we enjoy life, because I found out that only I can make the day good or bad. The other shoe dropped, I got over it, my life did not end because of it. When shoes drop in our life, its up to us to figure out if we want to pick them up and tie that shoe another way, or pull out the shoe laces and continually fall. Your post is just a rerun of me honey and like my husband tells me all the time, IF I DID NOT want to be here, I wouldn't. I pray that in the name of our Lord Jesus that HE will take the spirit of guilt from your mind, that HE will take the spirit of unworthyness from your mind, and give you peace, in Jesus name amen. Now I'm going to write something just personal for you.  |
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Date: 3/28/2008 8:24:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 62100
Thank you so much deb...I really realy appreciate your sharing all of this..it's helping me alot..I read your PM and I will do exactly as you guided..thanks SO much!!! |
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Date: 3/29/2008 1:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 16671
I often asked God why he allowed me to have to go through all of that, and he told me that it was so that I could help others whene time came. He has sent me so many and I've had share that painfull story many times and in doing so it has also helped me to get through it all. I thank you hon for once again helping me. Love Deb |
