I think of the things I did in the past
Trying to make living worth while
Drawing my own blood for pleasure
To get from one day to the next.
Waiting for the next high,
the next drink... The next, anything.
To keep me moving forward...
All I did was move back.
I worked my way through drugs
and worked my way through drinks
just trying to keep myself afloat
To paste a fake smile on my face.
Now Im in the present
Im liking who I am
Im married, in love, A mother of two
And couldnt want things any other way.
My husband is deployed, that takes its toll on me
I dont know when or if I'll get to talk to him
When or if I will ever see him again.
I hold my head high, and cry in secret.
But I imagin how life will be when he gets home.
Full of love and laughter, with out so many tears
Dreams and goals acomplished, over the next few years
Our kids starting school, watching that bus drive away
Never knowing what the future holds for me
Is something that Im not fond of
But I do know one thing, above all else.
In the midst of this, I have love.
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