Date: 11/17/2000 8:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 17487
I am a male and this is what I think...he holds on to you because you boost his ego....We men (and I don't think I'm alone on this) look to gain the admiration and approval of the female. I think that he may be stringing you along just to feel good about himslef. If he was a friend, I feel the treatment that he gives you would be very different. StormTracker5  |
Date: 11/17/2000 8:21:00 PM
From Authorid: 18111
I 2 am a dude, & I concurr with Stormtracker. Let me add that he may well have been adversely affected by the previous girl & may be passively punishing you for her transgressions, then taking advantage of his position in the relationship to reel you back in. You'll probably notice that no one is gonna give you much positive about this situation...it's something to think about.~~~BIGO>  |
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Date: 11/17/2000 8:22:00 PM
HONEY HOW OLD ARE YOU ? IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU ARE VERY INEXPERIENCED WITH THE WAYS OF MEN OR WOMEN FOR THAT MATTER . NOT ONLY ARE YOU DEALING WITH A MAN THAT HAS NO SELF CONFIDENCE OR DIRRECTION IN LIFE , BUT (YOU) ALSO HAVE NO SELF ESTEEM . IT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS TO YOU AT THIS POINT THAT HE IS ONLY YOU USING YOU AS A SORT OF CRUTCH TO BUILD HIMSELF UP WHILE WAITING TO MEET SOMEONE ELSE OR GET BACK WITH HIS TRUE LOVE AS HE THINKS . I`M NOT TO SURE HE EVEN KNOWS WHAT LOVE MEANS . YOU NEED TO SEE HIM FOR WHAT HE REALLY IS AS HE IS ONLY GOING TO TAKE YOU FOR A VERY ROCKY RIDE THAT WILL BRING YOU DOWN IN SPIRIT EVEN MORE SO THAN YOU ARE ALL BY YOUR SELF . SOME HOW YOU NEED TO FIND YOUR OWN IMPORTANCE IN LIFE AND LOVE YOURSELF ENOUGH TO NEVER LET ANY ONE USE YOU OR DEGRADE YOU . YOUR WORTH SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT , DON`T YOU SEE THAT ! FIND SOMEONE TO LOVE ONLY AFTER YOUR BROKENESS IS HEALED , PERHAPES SOME GOOD CHRISTIAN CONSULING WOULD HELP TO BUILD YOU UP . ASK GOD TO DIRRECT YOUR LIFE AND SEND A MAN WHO WILL LOVE EVERY LITTLE PART OF YOU AS HE SHOULD . GOOD LUCK TO YOU , CAROLYN |
Date: 11/17/2000 8:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 11348
Well this is a tough situation. I think with any relationship you'll have your ups and downs and you'll suspect things.. but you have to step back and look at the big picture. Overall does he treat you well and do you like to be with him? Has he proven your suspicions? You need to follow your heart. Either give it time and let his true colors show, or end it. Just trust yourself. Good luck. :)  |
Date: 11/17/2000 8:27:00 PM
From Authorid: 600
Wow! I'm a female, but feel like answering this one anyway. IMO you should move on with your life, his pain from the past shouldn't hurt you. I think you would be much better off not having to play these mind games and find someone who genuinly loves you. His bringing up his ex is an unfair stunt to keep you off balanced. I hope you soon realize that you are worth much more than to be treated this way. Also, I find it very offensive that he would tell you that he didn't find you attractive. Who in the world would want to hear that? I really think you are being treated unfairly. In the end the final decision is up to you, but you have to know you are too good of a person to be treated this way by anyone. I wish you the very best in this matter. Hang in there and do what your heart tells you. Women's intuition is a pretty powerful thing, don't ignore it. God bless.  |
Date: 11/17/2000 8:40:00 PM
From Authorid: 10733
Hi, you know all I can say to this is that I am living proof that long distant relationship rarely work out. If you seriously want to make this work then ask him what he feels and what his intentions are. Let him know how you feel and that you are not prepared to let yourself get hurt. Don't keep what you feel to yourself, trust me, it will only make the inevitable go on longer. Good Luck.  |
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Date: 11/17/2000 8:57:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 18364
There is more to my story. Four months ago my college closed down, so I was really in pits of trouble about it. I did not know where to go to college or not. Since I am in love with him, I wanted to move down to be closer to him. I asked him many times does he want me there, his answer was: "I can't tell you what to do. You decide, I do not want to be the reason you are changing your life around." I decided to stay where I am. And suddenly he started to be more and more pessimistic. I felt unclear about our relationship, I even asked if it even existed, and his answer again is "do not pressure me." The girl who is his ex love, is the one who cheated on him, and married the man she cheated with about two months ago or so. I asked him today if he still loves her, he said no not as before, but when I asked him earlier, few months ago, he said "no I do not love her." Yes, it is true I am not experienced person, but that does not mean he can treat me like trash! I do not know what I did to him to be treated by him like this. I really do not know... And yes my self esteem is destroyed. I am beginning to think that I am a bad person, with really ugly face. Why does giving love means being hurt? Because of him I let few other chances of relationships pass me by, and now, there is now way I could have not one chance to return again. I just hate myself!! |
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Date: 11/17/2000 9:22:00 PM
From Authorid: 20269
You are not going to get yourself treated like that. He might be taking you for a joyride. You should have seen this coming. Most men are like that. It's the ego thing and it sucks believe me. Get out there and trash him out. It will make you feel better. He might be punishing you for the "sin" that his ex did to him and you are not going to let it happen. There's lots of other wonderful guys around. Losing him is no big deal. Maybe you'll feel the pinch for a while but it'll wear of. Don't tell me that it's easier said than done cos I've been there, both in your shoes and his. I know what it feels like on both sides. But I managed to come to my senses. I gave myself a chance and now I am hooked on a wonderful guy who loves me for who I am, on the inside and on the outside. I know I am not a beauty but he told me that beauty doesn't last long. It's the heart and soul that matters and no matter what, I will always be beautiful in his eyes. He's my hubby and we're looking forward to start a family soon. So you take care and trust me, there's gonna be somebody out there for you. Someone who will cherish you for the rest of your life. Be stong and God bless - Charisma |
Date: 11/18/2000 12:11:00 AM
From Authorid: 17561
carolyn why are you shouting at her??? when you use your caps all the way thru your comments you are shouting at people..I was not sure if you knew this!!:-) any way This is a hard situation espeacially when your heart is invovled..But I have to agree with stormtraker5..It pretty much said it all.. good luck luv! DALHPINA  |
Date: 11/18/2000 8:00:00 AM
From Authorid: 10030
Do what your heart says. I think he is still hurting and needs more time to deal....but you do what is right in your mind  |
Date: 11/18/2000 1:26:00 PM
From Authorid: 13729
I'm asking myself the same thing....."Does a relationship even exist". I am a man and it seems to me, if I wanted my girlfriend to move closer to me I would tell her....in hopes that she would. I think he still has feelings for the other girl....  |
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Date: 11/18/2000 5:12:00 PM
From Authorid: 17524
I don't think that you are the one with the problem, HE is. So don't think that you are doing anything wrong. What is realy bugging me is the fact that he told you that he did't like your looks. If a person really loves you or cares about you they don't say things to hurt like that. If he cares about you looks should not matter. It sounds like he is perposely trying to put you down so that he feels better about him self. I would get away from this, It is not good. Best of luck! Trisha |
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Date: 11/18/2000 8:54:00 PM ( From Author )
From Authorid: 18364
Thank You all for replying. Your advices really mean a lot to me. Yes, he does have feelings for the other girl. But what I did not understand is why he never told me that. I asked him few times before if he still loved her, and he said no. One other thing he said to me once was: "I lost other girls suddenly, and it hurt a lot, but this time I am loosing you knowing that I am loosing you. If I ever regret anything in my life that would be you." That is what he told me. I do not undertand him at all!! |
Date: 11/20/2000 6:12:00 AM
From Authorid: 15159
i think he needs a best friend someone he can talk to!  |
