I remember the day as if it was yesterday. Deep down inside I wish it was tomorrow. Not just because it was my 15th birthday, but that's the day I became a man. I still can't help but smile when I think about that feeling I had looking out my bedroom window that morning. It was July 15, not a particularly hot day but definitely not a cold day in Michigan Ciy. Michigan City, Indiana is a small summer town located on Lake Michigan about 45 minutes from Chicago, Illinois. I was not much different than most teens. My friends and I spent most of the days at the beach and the nights at the mall. All except Saturday. That was my dads day. Had been ever since I was seven and my parents split up. Starting at 1200 hours sharp, as he called it. He arrives, mom and dad talk over coffee for exactly 25 minutes. Then we leave at 1225 hours sharp. Had to, we were exactly 26 minutes from his house. And all events started from his house at 1300 hours. It was almost funny. Dad can't be late. "Son I didn't put in 22 years in the corps(marine), to start being late now". So I knew on time, or answer for it. I learned at a young age that sometimes it's not always a good thing to be part of the answer. But this day had double meaning. My birthday and the day after Brian (B as we called him) got his driving license. This morning B was to pick me up at around 7 am and we were to pick up Theresa and Susan around 730 to be at the beach before 8. Susan was B's girl. Theresa, though she didn't know it yet, was to be mine. The beach was going great, hey my birthday was going great. Theresa was definitely mine. We spent more time together in the sand then swimming in the water . It was about 1130 and I can remember thinking "God please don't let this day end". That's when I made the decision. Yes I know it was me because B and Sue were gathering up all of things to head home. And I said it. "B let's stay until one. My dad will understand". I looked at B and said "you know that dad has enough coffee to talk for hours". B said "it's on you". That's when I realized. Thats right, it's on me. I have became a man. Dad will understand. He is always saying how he used to be kid once. Dad has to know I'm a man now and if not he will now. If not I'd be part of the answer. I'm a man now I can handle that. We stayed and had a great time for about another hour. 1250 I looked at my watch It was definetly time to leave now. So we once again began to gather our things. As we walked to the car I felt something I can not explain. My stomach felt empty. My body felt drained. I was looking at B and the girls but the only thing I could say was. "something is wrong I have to get home". B said "ok after I drop off Theresa and Sue". I knew I couldn't wait I don't know how, but I knew. I said "no drop me off first". When I got home I was very suprised yet relieved to see mom sitting on the porch in her usual chair drinking coffee. I felt better. Mom yelled out "Happy birthday Timmy. Your dad couldn't wait, you know his schedules. He said he would call". Later that day the phone rang 1410 hours sharp. My mom answered the phone and after a brief call she began crying. My dad was in an accident. He died less then 3 miles from mom's house at 1258. I realized then what I felt at the beach. A part of me had died. But the hardest part was the half that kept living. Living, knowing had I been home on time. We would have left on time. Had we left on time this would not have happened. But I didn't and we didn't because today I became a man. And I got my wish. The day has never ended. I live it every day at 1258 sharp. How it changed my life:This hasn't changed my life. Nothing did until I learned to talk about it. Even now I don't think it helps me. I can only hope that it will help someone else. Don't be in a hurry to grow up and most of all, Be careful what you wish.
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