I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
My wife and I got remarried. Our divorce didn't work out.
Some people play a horse to win, some to place. I should have bet this horse to live.
I made a killing in the stock market. I shot my broker.
There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
He's an agent now. He must know talent. He gave up acting.
Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. "Peanuts. Popcorn."
He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
If you have your life to live over again, don't do it.
He was born on April 2. A day late.
I'd like to say we're glad you're here -- I'd like to say it...
He gives his wife something to look forward to -- a divorce.
Why don't you go to a window and lean out too far?
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Someday you'll go to far, and I hope you'll stay there.
Look at him, sex takes a holiday!
She got her good looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
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