Jessica was loud and blond and that was about all I knew about her at the time, we were friends but not really. I invited her places and she me, but only because we were in the same social circle. But, our sophomore year she joined Colorguard, which is my life; I love it. Then she was not only in my outside world but there, part of the thing that had given me a newfound self-confidence. For the most part I tolerated the invasion, until; Shawn asked her out. The jealousy I felt was unbelievable. I had no desire to like him it just happened.We had been friends for a year and all the sudden i was in love with him, all because he asked her out. Jessica said yes to him but they broke up a few days later, because she still liked her long time crush Gary. Shawn didn’t get over her quickly to say the least, he talked constantly to me and my friend Heather about how much he liked her. Despite my subtle hints, (Shawn, there must be others girls that like you, I mean me and Heather think you are cuter than Gary, don't we Heather?) he never got it.
I slowly stared to get annoyed with every single thing she did. The way she screamed, sung, talked, and acted all bothered me. I was bitter towards her I yelled at her to shut up constantly. She told me later that she thought I hated her during this time but she had no idea why. One night on the way to a football game, as homecoming drew near, my friends were desperately trying to get me a date. My friend Linda had been talking to this kid who was kind of an outcast, no one had ever really bothered to talk to him. She convinced me to flirt with him and then ask him to the dance.
Well, I was sitting diagonally across from him with Heather (who was single at the time, but that's another story) and Jessica and Kayla were sitting behind him. So it was decided that on the two-hour bus ride home I would sit with Jessica.
On the way home, he promptly fell asleep, I was bitter. I had been bitter for days now about everything and this just topped it off in my mind. A game of truth or dare started and I declined playing, Heather gave me a funny look, she knows how I love truth or dare, but said nothing. After hearing the first dare Jessica, quit. At this point I couldn't take it anymore, I turned to Jess and told her I had something to tell her. Haltingly I poured out my story. We started talking about life and all its unfairness. I confided in her my worry that our mutual friend Susie was suicidal; a few weeks later she accompanied me to the guidance consular. I told her all that was going on my life and why I was so bitter; I apologized for taking it out on her.
We started writing notes every day, and having two-hour phone conversations. We code named the situation the "Dawson situation". We talked constantly about it. She helped me when, a few weeks later, it turned out that the other guy, liked Linda. I felt cursed. We spoke in codes for everything after that. I right now know I have the best friends, I have ever had. I know, that the things I am doing in my life now I will remember forever. Both Jess and Shawn are a part of those friends and those memories.
I eventually told Shawn that I liked him, I t wasn't mutual but we are still good friends. Out of the pain of the classic love triangle came a real friendship that I treasure and am grateful for everyday.
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