I need to write this, I have to write this. It may not be what you want to hear, but I have to go. God has called me home, and I have ignored His call for long enough. These are the last hours of my life. I think these are the things I need to say to you now. They come straight from my heart, and aren't disorted by the image I feel I need to uphold. When you are so close to leaving the world and all your loved ones behind, image no longer seems to matter. Everyday I thought about you at least once, everyday since the day I met you. You lit up my life, my cloudy, dreary days, long before I knew I loved you. You did it all with your smile, laughter, and comforting way of making me laugh, of making life look so much brighter. I loved you long before you loved me, and I don't think anyone could love you more than I do. That day, the one we spent together, it was the best day of my life. The way we can be so comfortable around each other, not having to hide our feelings, that makes me so happy, once I cried tears of joy. Knowing you makes me so proud, I almost burst. My mother once told me to shut up and stop talking about you, if that means anything at all. I have always been in awe of your mind, it is so much greater than mine, yet you make it seem equal. The way we could always just look at each other and feel like we could see each other's souls, that made me feel loved. I knew you loved me, long before you did. I could see it in your eyes. You gave me all the signs way before I gave in to you. At night, when I am praying, you are always the first on my list of blessings, and the first on my list of thanks. God sent you to me, that is the way you make me feel. I'm not sure if any of this will mean much to you as you grow older and get married and have a loving spouse and children and a life, but I hope it will. Someday when you are spending time alone, quiet time, the time when silence makes you think, I hope I come into your mind, if only for a brief moment. You come into mine everyday. I thank God above you came into my life, even if I had to leave you behind. I know that you don't remember things well, like birthdays, annivesarys, and things like that, but I hope that you can at least remember that the day I left Earth, you were the last person on my mind, and the last person I ever wrote a letter to.
Love, Me
PS-- You may not know it now, but we will see each other again. You are too sweet and sincere to not go to heaven, and everyday I'll watch over you from up above and wait for the day God gives you His call, and you can join me, to be my companion and friend once again. I love you.
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